Thursday, July 31, 2008

"Hello, Lover!"

Does anyone out there watch Sex and the City? Reruns of it are everywhere. I enjoy this show because it has incredible humor in it. There is a scene where Carrie Bradshaw is looking at a pair of shoes in a window and from her lips comes the utterance, "Hello, Lover!" I laughed myself silly!

Then it happened. Just tonight. It happened to me. I was in a store to try on a pair of shoes. This is no ordinary pair of men's shoes. This is a pair of Cole Haan shoes. Cole Haan was bought out by Nike. Nike put into the Cole Haan shoes their air technology. This pair of fabulous slip on leather shoes does indeed feel like sinking your whole body down into warm butter. And then with the air technology, they are so incredibly light that you can hardly feel them on your feet! They are the absolute sexiest pair of shoes I have ever owned in my entire life. Yes, I bought them. And I didn't even blink an eye! I just bought them. Before I could even think about it my card was whipped out and my John Henry was on the dotted line! Honestly, I want to wear them to bed! This pair of shoes may actually make me want to wear socks! This is something, as previously mentioned in another blog entry, that I hate to do. Socks make me feel like I am suffocating. But socks with these sexy shoes......I will put the darn pair of socks on if it means that I can wear these shoes!!!!

These are the small luxuries and necessities in life. It is important, especially with an Achilles tendon like mine, to have excellent support in foot wear. So this pair of shoes is a must. "I guess that I will try them on if I have to! But I am certainly not sold on liking them and for this price....wait a minute....I get a sensation like that and I only have to pay this much??? SOLD!"

Think good support. If our feet give out, the rest of us have nothing to stand on!

Blessed Be


Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Original Shaman

Did you know that the original shamans were artists as well? It is true. Shamans of ancient times would go into trance as they painted the figures of animals on the rock walls of their caves. In this trance state, they would "tune in" to where the animals were grazing. They would then let the hunters know where to go to find the herds for hunting. It was an ancient form of achieving a GPS coordinate. Considering that we all survived the ice age, I am pretty sure the system worked well.

In modern times, shamans like myself don't have to actually do that sort of thing. Yes, we purchase our groceries at the store like everybody else! Imagine that! But art still plays an important role in the work that I do as a shaman.

When I "tune in" to a person's past life, for example, one of the ways in which I do that is to start drawing them in that past life. As the portrait unfolds on the paper, the details of the lifetime also unfold. When I do a Spirit Energy Portrait I "tune in" to the person's aura, chakras, past lives, power animals, spirit guides and so on, and then place them strategically into the portrait as I paint it. There are also other images that, over time, emerge from within the painting. These images give me messages as well.

I find that even just stirring sand or sugar can put me into that trance state of consciousness, as does looking at a glassy surface such as water or ice, or a crystal. I think that once one catches on to how to access that part of the brain, then the brain takes every opportunity it can to exercise that muscle system within it. Stirring my coffee can do it, washing dishes by hand, brushing teeth, and, when I had it, washing my hair. Life itself becomes a meditation that allows me to channel whatever I need to whenever I need to in order to get the messages from Spirit through to me or others. Having said that, I am needing to be very clear that I don't want crowds of people in the bathroom while I shower! Pllllllease! Remember, I don't have hair anymore!

Blessed Be


Monday, July 28, 2008

The Way of the Wise Man

In my wonderful book titled "Awakenings" by Danielle and Olivier Follmi, there is a quote from Chuang-tzu that reads, "To act with the minimum of effort and obtain the maximum results, such is the way of the wise man."

This concept can be found in such practices as Tai Chi, Wyn Tsun and many others. In these martial arts, one does not aggressively strike out so much as both not be in the way of an aggressor striking out and to use the force of their strike against them. Thus we dodge the strike, grasp the arm that is striking and pull it along the path of the strike right past us. The aggressor usually goes through the wall with minimum effort on our part.

But this concept can be applied to every day life. The photo that goes with the quotation in the book is of a shimmery body of water with a group of people on a small sail boat moving along with the wind pulling them. Talk about minimum effort in application! Besides sailing, we can also "sail" right through various challenges in our lives with minimum effort as well. The trick here is to know what we truly want and who we truly are. Everything that does not fit that knowing simply falls away from us and can no longer clutter our paths. This is not to say that getting to know who we are and what we want is without effort. But once we discover the simple truths about ourselves, the rest comes easily. Try it. You might find it to be quite enjoyable!

Blessed Be


Sunday, July 27, 2008

Color Coordination

There are some out there who tend to think that it should not matter what you look like or how you dress in order for people to respond positively towards you. I used to think this as well. Then I realized that I had gone through years of not really feeling worthy of nice clothes. I felt guilty if I spent any money on myself whatsoever and channeled all that energy towards making sure there was a roof over my family's heads and clothes on their backs. It should have been clothes on our backs. And any time that there was some money spent on clothing for me, I was racked with guilt and some remorse that I should spend that on me instead of on someone else. During this time, I also found that there were some around me with similar political ideals about fashion. But these folks tended to dress down so much as a response to good fashion sense that they began looking and, dare I say, smelling like vagabonds. I felt that it was one thing to have old clothes, and quite another to not at least wash them!

So now I find myself back in the game of fashion coordination. Colors either go well, or not. And I am not willing to wear something that doesn't look good. So my clothes closet is going through a major overhaul. I am not talking about spending thousands of dollars to be a clothes rack. I am talking about simply looking sharp and feeling good about myself again and knowing that I deserve to look good and dress well. Some people have never had this as an "issue", but I have and so I am going to resolve it promptly.

I write this as I am preparing to go shopping at Walmart. Okay, okay, I know that it is not the best place on earth to shop. But there are some things that I cannot get anywhere else for as good a price and I refuse to spend more than necessary for those things. But getting ready to go there reminded me that I am dressing to look good, even if it is just to go to Walmart. There are no longer any occasions where I am going to allow myself to look anything but good.

And I have found that clerks and bankers and total strangers on the street are responding not just to my attire, but also to my energy. This is now an energy of self-respect and self-worth. I like having it and I certainly like being treated as such. So go ahead and treat yourself! Buy that nice shirt or shorts or pants or skirt or whatever the case may be. Don't overcharge your credit card because that would be stupid. But don't convince yourself that you aren't worth the investment in good clothes. I know from experience that this is a depressing path to journey upon.

Blessed Be


Friday, July 25, 2008

A Vegimite Sandwich?????

Have you ever had one of those embarrassing moments where you are singing along to a song on a CD or on the radio and then have someone point out to you how you have the words all wrong? My love pointed out to me last night that I had yet another set of words wrong to the Men At Work song "Down Under". At least I think it was Men At Work, and I think the song is "Down Under", but I no longer am very sure of anything!

"He just smiled and gave me a vegimite sandwich." So what the heck is a vegimite sandwich??? I don't even know if I am spelling it correctly, but after reading the next line, you may not care either. Apparently down under they have this thing called vegimite that is like a peanut butter substitute, but is actually more like lard and tastes even worse. I is very popular down there. When it was described to me, I decided that there is a very good reason that I live up here in Canada. We actually have peanut butter. Not being allergic to legumes, I can eat all the peanut butter I want. And it doesn't have to taste like lard!

And then I also discovered something divine! My Love's parents own and operate Premala's Spicy Sensations and make all sorts of delicious Indian food and sauces and chutneys etc. They make something called Pachadi. Now, this is actually said more like "muchity" with a "p" instead of an "m". It is very important that you know how to say the words correctly. Her family is an excellent group of instructors when it comes to other language and being able to pronounce things correctly. But I think it is also because there is power in words. So if I say Love incorrectly, it is not going to have the same power as when I say it correctly. Much the same for the names of food, people, articles, animals, etc. So you need to say it right. And what the heck is Pachadi anyway? Well, it is a peanut butter based spread that is spicy. I am not talking the hideous kind of spicy that you get at cheap knock off imitation Indian food places. I am talking about absolutely wonderful flavor. That is the way they make all their food. The spice is not to knock your socks off (which I rarely wear anyway), but to bring out the flavor of the food and the blend of aromas and textures. They also bless their food every time they prepare it, so it is laced with the goodness of the gods! By the way, you can get this stuff at the Farmer's Market in Saskatoon, where they have a booth. And if you do, make sure that you ask for the recipe for the Chickpea Curry. The story will amaze you!

Blessed Be


Thursday, July 24, 2008


Have you ever had one of those people in your life who says things like,"We should get together for a visit/coffee/tea" etc. and then never follows through? I received an email to that effect not long ago, responded with my available times and, as per usual, have not heard back. When this happened I realized that I have somehow accumulated 3 people like that into my life in the last couple of years. This surprises me because I usually don't tolerate this sort of behavior. But they kind of snuck in.

So now what? Well, as I have had to do before to remove klingons from my robes, I will give each of them one chance out of many that they have had to step up or get out. I don't do this without actually telling them that I am doing it. That would just be one big game. But when I tell them that I am noticing a pattern in behavior and that I don't like it and won't put up with it and then make plans with them, they had better show up. Yes, emergencies can happen. But when we planned it for a month in advance and then "friends from out of town have dropped in and I need to be with them tonight" happens, then I know that my time and energy is just not important enough to let the friends from out of town know that you are busy and that they can give advance notice next time.

I think that some people just don't know how to say "no" to others. If they did, then they would be much more committed to following through with set plans and less likely to whimsically change them because some one breezes through town for an evening. But then one wonders what the relationship actually is with the ones who breeze through town? Perhaps there is something there that is actually much more enticing than what I have to offer? If so, just say so and we are good. Don't let me stand in the way of a good lay! But do be honest with me and with yourself as to why you are doing what you are doing. And then don't blow me off the next time we have a coffee date.

So that is the shaman's rant for today. Unfortunately, I may have actually done similar stuff to friends and not even known it because they were too timid to call me on it. I hope not. I do like to deal with things up front. That way we let go of all the drama!

Blessed Be


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Staff Meetings

I am working in the coolest place that anyone could work in. The Aquamarine Healing Center is filled with wonderful people who come from a variety of different modalities of healing. And you should be a fly on the wall during our staff meetings! As opposed to former staff meetings where I was wondering if this was going to give me a staff infection, at this center we do fun stuff, including business discussions, like drumming and laughing and things like that. Happiness and laughter heal so much as well. I feel blessed and honored to be a part of it all.

Blessed Be

Trent Deerhorn

Friday, July 18, 2008

Gracefully Crossing the Veil

A few years ago, my oldest sister died. She had gone into the hospital with heart problems, was given an immediate 5 bypass surgery, and then was told, "Oh, and by the way, you have lung cancer." Now, this came on the tail end of my mother dying with bowel cancer, my father dying of leukemia, and my mother-in-law dying of cancer as well. So needless to say, I was not the happiest camper on the block when this news came down.

The following few months were spent helping her to both heal and transition. Healing doesn't always mean curing the disease. Sometimes the healing is something that goes much deeper than the disease itself. In the healing work that we did, I was able to help her to come to peace, somewhat, with a much deteriorated relationship that she had with our parents.

The morning that she died, she came to visit me as I was going through my morning routine. One minute I am brushing my teeth and the next she is standing there in the bathroom telling me that she has left her body. Immediately after this, her husband phoned to let me know that she had passed on. When she visited me she asked me to perform the last rites. So I went to the hospital and did so. That was one of the hardest things that I had ever had to do. But as I did this, I found it comforting that her soul energies evacuated from her body and went into the light, right there before my eyes. It was beautiful and extremely sad all at the same time. I broke down and sobbed and could barely finish the last rites. But finish I did and then went into my own personal grief and crisis about the fact that my sister was gone.

Since then, there has been more healing for her while in the Light. Her relationship with our parents has greatly improved and the turmoil that she had felt for so many years is now gone. She comes to talk with me often, and I always take the time to listen. After all, while I was growing up, she always took the time to listen to me as well.

Blessed Be


Quality Time

I am one who believes that it is more important to spend quality time with someone than it is to spend quantity time with someone. I have had relationships in which the other person has expected me to be constantly available 24/7/52. Talk about a way to smother an Air elemental! These relationships have usually not lasted very long. I am not into maintaining a high need person at the expense of my own well being.

So what is quality time anyway? I have learned since my separation that spending time with my daughters is the most precious time I can spend. It really doesn't matter what we do so long as we are together and talking and chatting etc. My attention goes completely onto them and the loving feelings between us. Sometimes I just want to reach out and hug them until they completely absorb into my cells. But that would be pushing it a little. Hugs, yes, absorption, no.

Today we are going to spend some time at the pool and then have a picnic lunch at the park. I am totally revved about this and can hardly wait for them to arrive. Normally I am booked with clients all day. Today I booked off. I am glad that I did.

Blessed Be


Monday, July 14, 2008

Independence Day

Did you know that there is a difference between dependence and co-dependence and independence and interdependence? Hmmmm. That must depend upon a lot of stuff! Well, it does.

To be dependent upon someone is to be in a situation where you are unable to depend upon yourself. As an example, when one is convalescing one is sometimes dependent upon another to drive them to appointments or get them a cup of tea etc. Babies are dependent upon the adults around them to feed and change them and a myriad of other things as well.

Co-dependence happens when one is thinking he or she is dependent upon another, when actually being fully capable of doing what needs to be done on their own. Emotional co-dependence kills most relationships over time because one or both parties feels that the other person is responsible in some way for who they are and how they feel and what they do or don't do and so on. This throws a big wrench into someone's life. How can a person even confidently answer the phone that is ringing if that person is co-dependent upon someone else to take responsibility for it?

Independence is when one holds self-confidence within and is a capable individual who works well in th world and is able to make one's own decisions with ease. There is no panic attack involved in the decision making process and there is no looking back and wondering if the decision made back then was the right one after all.

No one can, however, exist inside a bubble. Some folks get to thinking that if they are independent then this means that they can not in any way show enough weakness to actually have to rely upon another for anything. They see that as dependent or co-dependent. Really what we are talking about here is degrees and ranges of expectations and behaviors. So we also need to be able to incorporate inter-dependence into our lives. That way it becomes more of a "team effort" with varying tasks. If we have an appointment that is going overtime, we are able to call on the other team member to pick up the kids from their soccer practice, and other assorted things.

Today I opened a couple of new bank accounts at a new bank and found that, for the first time in almost 20 years, nothing was linked to anyone other than myself. That was an amazing feeling when it comes to money matters! Talk about independence on paper!

Blessed Be



I am not a guy who has ever enjoyed being interrupted while speaking. When I was a kid I had a very small and soft voice (still soft spoken but not so small!) and I was constantly being spoken over at the dinner table. This resulted in me feeling like my opinions and observations did not matter at all to anyone. After a while I unconsciously decided that I was not worthy of any form of expression. Try entering choir when you don't think you are worthy of expressing yourself!

Later on I was able to be in not only choir, but also honor choir, swing choir and international honor choir. I had a voice after all! I was still not one to volunteer an opinion, but I knew I had a voice. Then three voice trainers in a row said that my voice was unusual and that they had no idea what to do with it. At 15 years of age this translated into, "You have a crappy and uncooperative voice" so I dropped out of all choirs.

I went for years without singing, other than in the shower where, hopefully, no one could hear me. When I had my children, however, they brought out the singer in me once again. And shortly after my first was born, I learned the art of chant. This brought my voice to a maximum performance level. But having children also meant constant interruptions in conversation. I found that I would get very angry when interrupted (still do) and knew that this must mean something is unresolved. After going back in time and healing the childhood disregard that my family seemed to express in talking over me constantly, I came to realize that it is okay to get angry when interrupted. The reason for the anger is that interrupting is actually extremely rude. I have always done my best to not interrupt, and I expect that others will do the same. If they are not there, then they don't get my attention.

I will sing this at the top of my lungs!

Blessed Be


Thursday, July 10, 2008

An Umbrella of a different Color

I have never been one to go with the standard in anything. Even though I am a regular guy in many respects, there are also times when I am not that usual at all. For example, the other day my daughters and I got drenched at the zoo as the skies opened up and dumped buckets of rain and light hail upon us. By the time we got to cover, we were literally soaked to the skin. This is when I realized that I need an umbrella to be able to walk to and from work without having a repeat of said event.

So, after a long search (it seems there was a wave of umbrella sales in the city) I finally found a store with some umbrellas. The thing is, for the first 5 minutes of hunting through their bin, all I could find was pink, light pink, and deep pink, with the occasional yellow thrown in with pink flowers or birds. Now, when did the general rule become established that umbrellas were only a feminine accessory???? I wanted black. A nice masculine color for an umbrella. What I finally found at the very bottom of the bin was a cobalt blue. That would do.

So yesterday I am walking home from work and people are looking at me like they are thinking, "Dude! Guys don't carry umbrellas!" I don't care. You see, what most folks don't realize is, for those of us with just enough testosterone in our systems to cause us to go bald (sorry, p.c. term for this is actually "follicularly challenged") the rain actually hurts when it hits the scalp with any force whatsoever. After five minutes of a "gentle" rain, a bald guy can have a migraine headache because it feels like having needles the weight of small bricks pounding on the head.

So if any of you out there should happen to see me or any other guy with an umbrella walking the streets of the city, give a honk or a shout of encouragement. And please write the umbrella manufacturers and demand more masculine colors in their dye lots. It would do me, and my brothers, a great service!

Blessed Be


Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Obligation vs Responsibility

I so often hear people say things like, "If I didn't have to do this, then I would have time to do that, which is what I really love to do." I have always challenged this idea. People don't often realize that there is a difference between obligations and responsibilities. Obligations tend to be burdensome. Responsibilities tend to be liberating.

Let's say, for example, that I have offered to feed and walk someone's dog for the two weeks that they are away on vacation. I will certainly do that because I have obliged myself to do so. No matter what else may come up in my life, the dog will get fed and walked. This is an obligation. It is short term and at the end of the term I am free and clear to do whatever I want with the rest of the time I have on this earth. But for the two week period, I am burdened with the dog and its needs.

Now I am also a responsible person. If, for example, while this dog is in my care it should happen to get ill, I will certainly take care of it. I am able to respond to this dog's particular and specific situation. That is what responsibility is. It is the ability to respond.

When we are able to respond we become liberated. We are no longer trapped in the haze and fog of common consciousness. We are able to clearly see what is going on around us and take appropriate action in response to what we are perceiving. As we take action our world unfolds around us in the way it will, according to universal laws that state that all actions have a ripple effect. In the case of the dog, the ripple effect is the gratitude that its owners will feel knowing that, whatever was happening, their dog was cared for and not alone. Should I not respond to the sick dog, then when they come back home the ripple effect is much more negative.

When we apply these principles to every day life and relationships we find that we become more conscious of others' needs as well as of what our own needs might be. Clear communication is then possible and we are able to liberate ourselves from mundane misery and experience full joy and abundance. We then don't have to wait to do what we love to do. We do that and, while we do that, we also respond to the world around us. The thing is that we always have a choice in any situation. Even not choosing is a choice that leads somewhere. As we make our decisions, we allow ourselves to flow with the ripple effect.

Blessed Be


Friday, July 4, 2008

Settling In

It sometimes takes a little while to get used to a new space. I am experiencing this at work these days. I have moved my practice to a location at the Aquamarine Healing Center. The space is absolutely beautiful. My practice room is much smaller than what I am used to, having come from a space that was 24X26, but the smaller space creates an intensity in the energy that the larger space could not. It is also nice to see smiling faces greeting me when I arrive at work. My co-workers are the absolute best one could hope for.

Now that the move of the office is complete, I find myself in a state of slowing down and allowing all the changes of the past six months to sink in. I am glad that this part of all the changes is happening in the summer, because I like to slow down a bit in the summer anyway. I have my morning coffee on the balcony and look out over our beautiful city, and I now have a leisurely walk to work. It all feels good.

All these changes, although positive, do stir up some fears about personal capability and security. As I walk through these fears, I find myself getting stronger every day. Chogyam Trungpa said,"Through courage we do not reduce our fear, we go beyond it." Although I would really like the reduction aspect of it, I think I can live with the going beyond it aspect.

Blessed Be


Thursday, July 3, 2008

A Rash of Events

There are times in every one's life when we are forced to just sit and collect ourselves. This is what is currently happening to me. You see, I have a rash. It is not just a little collection of a few bumps in a specific location on the body. It is a full blown all out rash that is spreading. It started (this time) in the crook of the elbow. Now it is spreading to the wrists, has already spread to the armpits, and is across the chest and moving up the throat.

My homeopathic doctor says it is strep related. I am taking the remedy. Conventional doctors say it is an allergy to nettle. Although I do use some nettle in my work, I haven't had a rash every time I have used it, or I would be covered always.

No, this is a different kind of rash. Hot, itchy, burning and miserable to deal with. However, I am learning a lot about myself as this happens. There are times in my life when I don't want to be touched. This is one of those times because it just hurts, and the more gentle the touch, the more irritated it gets. It is like insects crawling on the skin if even the slightest breeze moves hair on my body. Energy healing makes it hot, which makes it feel worse.

So in talking to my rash it has explained that it is there because of a rash of events. My separation from my marriage, my new relationship, the selling of my acreage, moving into my new location at work, just to name a few. All of these things are very positive, yet the stress has finally caught up with me. And so, I now wear even looser and more comfortable clothing, take cold showers to cool everything off, have my homeopathic remedy, and have even resorted to using an antihistamine in order to get this under control. And I am learning to slow it all down for a bit as well. Something I tell my clients to do every day. Shaman, heal thyself! I can hear it now.

Blessed Be