My Sister

You all may have noticed that I have not blogged a lot of late. I have been a wee bit busy with life and with death. My life is always quite busy with family and friends, but recently I have also been very busy with the death of my sister. As a shaman work sometimes just gets going when a person crosses over.

There are a couple of things that I would like to share about her. First off, as you can see, we have sported, for different reasons, the same hair style. Mine was more by choice. Hers, not so much. Secondly, it is pretty obvious by looks that we are so genetically linked that we could not possibly disown each other and hope that no one would know we were related.

Leith had a very tough exterior, but inside she was a marshmallow. I had a way of making her share her marshmallows with me. She spent her life striving for excellence and perfection, which on a professional level she achieved. Let's face it, on a personal level no one is perfect. I think that her drive to achieve came from a little girl within who always wanted to please her dad.

When I was about 2 or 3 years of age, my family took a trip to Ottawa to visit my older sister. During that visit my older sister made bread. When it was in the final stage of rising, I came into the kitchen and saw it sitting there, just waiting to be poked and pinched. No one saw me do it. But when it was discovered, my older sister went crazy (also a perfectionist). I chose to implement the old "Keep your mouth shut until it all blows over" trick that I had learned about a year earlier. Leith, however, upon seeing the bread, burst out laughing! She took the heat for the offense. She swore her innocence, but no one believed her. I figured that my older sister's cat, Sir Henry, had already attacked me, so I would let this one belong to someone else. I was sure that it would blow over. It became, however, the topic of conversation during family gatherings. Every time it came up, Leith professed her innocence. For 20 years this went on! I could not believe that my family could hold onto something like that! I have seen pit bulls let go faster! So finally, I couldn't take the guilt any longer and I confessed. You should have seen the stunned looks on the faces of my family! They were shocked that it was me (being a model child and all!). Finally the truth came out and they let it go. Leith, however, had mixed feelings. She was relieved that the truth was revealed. She was also angry that I had let it go on for so long. But most of all, she was impressed that I could keep a secret for so long!

Leith was also the one in the family who invented "Happy Nothing's Day". This was a result of her not wanting to feel pressure to purchase a gift for anyone just because of some arbitrary date, such as Christmas or a birthday. But throughout the year, she would certainly make up for it. You would suddenly hear her say, "Happy Nothing's Day!" and she would present you with some gift that she picked up just for you because it made her think of you when she saw it. This is a tradition I continue with my own children, although they really cash in because I also gift them on birthdays and Christmas.

Yes, we also had our differences. But the good stuff will certainly be missed. I hope she finds peace on the other side of the Veil.

Blessed Be
Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

For a Plant to Grow

For a plant to grow it must be deeply rooted, have the right amount of sun and water, and experience loving care. People are like plants. This beautiful Lilly is one that grew in the garden of a dear friend of mine. She was kind enough to email me a photo or two to utilize in my blogs. Today, this one caught my attention.

As people, we need deep roots. We need our family ties to help us to establish what is important in our lives. Sometimes this is because what is important is not what our family's expectations of us are. But often it is the deeply rooted love that is important and sustains us. This is what will often get us through the tough times. Family, however, does not always mean our family of origin. Sometimes, in fact more often than not, it means the tribe that we belong to, some of which are related through blood, and some of which are related through love.

We all have sunny and rainy times in our lives. That is what life is about. In an earlier blog I mentioned a quote that said that it is not the absence of rain that makes our lives complete, but the ability to learn to dance in it. At the same time, if all we experience is the sun, we get parched and burned. We need both experiences to be whole.

And we also need loving care. From the time we are born to the time we die, no matter how much of a span there is between these two events, we need to be held. We need the physical touch and we need to be able to experience the love that transfers from one to the other through that touch. This is why so many NICU babies survive. The parents and family members and staff touch them. At my mother's death bed there was a lot of time spent just holding her hand. This was not to hold onto her and keep her with us. This was to give her comfort while she completed her journey to the Otherworld. And then the cycle was complete. Shortly after she died, my youngest daughter was born, and the cycle was, once again, begun. I am still holding her whenever I can. After all, they grow up way to fast and there will soon be a time when she may not want me to hug or hold her. When that time comes, the rain will begin again, but I will learn to dance in it in celebration of her independence.

Blessed Be

Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com