Color Coordination

There are some out there who tend to think that it should not matter what you look like or how you dress in order for people to respond positively towards you. I used to think this as well. Then I realized that I had gone through years of not really feeling worthy of nice clothes. I felt guilty if I spent any money on myself whatsoever and channeled all that energy towards making sure there was a roof over my family's heads and clothes on their backs. It should have been clothes on our backs. And any time that there was some money spent on clothing for me, I was racked with guilt and some remorse that I should spend that on me instead of on someone else. During this time, I also found that there were some around me with similar political ideals about fashion. But these folks tended to dress down so much as a response to good fashion sense that they began looking and, dare I say, smelling like vagabonds. I felt that it was one thing to have old clothes, and quite another to not at least wash them!

So now I find myself back in the game of fashion coordination. Colors either go well, or not. And I am not willing to wear something that doesn't look good. So my clothes closet is going through a major overhaul. I am not talking about spending thousands of dollars to be a clothes rack. I am talking about simply looking sharp and feeling good about myself again and knowing that I deserve to look good and dress well. Some people have never had this as an "issue", but I have and so I am going to resolve it promptly.

I write this as I am preparing to go shopping at Walmart. Okay, okay, I know that it is not the best place on earth to shop. But there are some things that I cannot get anywhere else for as good a price and I refuse to spend more than necessary for those things. But getting ready to go there reminded me that I am dressing to look good, even if it is just to go to Walmart. There are no longer any occasions where I am going to allow myself to look anything but good.

And I have found that clerks and bankers and total strangers on the street are responding not just to my attire, but also to my energy. This is now an energy of self-respect and self-worth. I like having it and I certainly like being treated as such. So go ahead and treat yourself! Buy that nice shirt or shorts or pants or skirt or whatever the case may be. Don't overcharge your credit card because that would be stupid. But don't convince yourself that you aren't worth the investment in good clothes. I know from experience that this is a depressing path to journey upon.

Blessed Be

Trent

www.deerhornshamanic.com

You Deserve It!

Why is it that some people, when asked what they would like for their birthday, or for some other special occasion, will say stuff like, "Oh, I don't need anything." or "Nothing special, it really doesn't matter that much to me."? I think that there are perhaps a number of reasons, two of which occur to me immediately. One is that the person's self-worth is in the toilet. Why should it not be something special. YOU ARE SPECIAL! Otherwise we would not even ask the question. And since when does a gift on a special occasion have to include something you NEED? That is just too practical a way of looking at life. Why not live a little and have something totally frivolous? After all, it is your birthday/anniversary/graduation day/mother's day/father's day etc. I know that a lot of people have difficulty with the "hallmark" holidays. Personally, I have never seen the sense in celebrating love only on Valentine's Day. But really, if someone thinks you are special and wants to do something nice for you but doesn't know what would be "appropriate", give the poor sod half a chance and come up with something. So I have designed a list of things that are frivolous and fabulous that anyone can use for answering such questions:

Hot Air Balloon Ride
Chocolate
Day cruise in a Mustang Convertible
Sex
Dinner out
Help to paint any room in your dwelling
A month of maid service
A day at the Spa
Did I mention Chocolate?
Jewelry is always good
A day spent visiting and doing fun stuff (for some it would be watching a movie and for others it would be spending some time at an art gallery etc)
And there is always chocolate.


So I hope that this helps anyone who doesn't know what to get someone and that it helps anyone who has someone ask them what they might like. I am sure that you can add to the list some unique ideas of your own.

Then there is the second reason that occurs to me. That is the one where folks play games just to see if someone will actually put themselves out and come up with something on their own. This is sometimes necessary, but if someone actually takes the time to ask the question of what you might like, then playing that game is just cruel and basically rude. So don't do that.

Blessed Be

Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

Living Vicariously Through My Friends

A friend of mine just emailed me another quotation, again I don't know who the original creator of this saying is, but it goes like this, "Life is God's gift to you.....what you do with your life is your gift to God."

I am very happy that I have such friends. Not only do they send me such amazing quotations, but some of them actually also visit exotic places around the world and bring me back sand (I collect sand from around the world), shells (I collect those too), and stones (yup, you guessed it...another collection). They bring wonderful stories that I very much enjoy hearing and learning from. When one lives vicariously through one's friends, learning comes easily from their stories of wild and wonderful experiences.

That brings to mind the lady whose hair I was washing (when I worked in a salon.....yup, I used to do that too....a jack of many trades) telling me about her trip on an African safari through the jungles of the Congo. The group stopped on their hike for a rest. She sat down on a rock. Suddenly the tour guide's eyes became extremely big and he told her to very carefully stand up and then run as fast as she could toward him. She had chills run through her, thinking that there must be a tiger about to pounce or something. When she reached him in a nano-second, she turned around and saw that the "rock" upon which she had been sitting was actually a sleeping cobra! Too cool. Oh, yea, and ..... YIKES!!!!

I love stories like that. But I also find stories about how folks contribute to the lives of others to be very inspiring. Like the story that a friend told me about purchasing and making turkey dinner (no special occasion) for a single mom of 6 children who was renting from her. This inspires me. When people see the need and respond, they are contributing to the community and to humanity.

When one contributes and when one lives life FULLY one is utilizing God's gift of life and creating a gift for God. I have so many people ask me to tell them what their life's purpose is this time around. I always tell them that the purpose of life is to live life fully. This means to enjoy it and to contribute in some way. It is one thing to be a good person, but it is an entirely other thing to be a person who is good for something. We aren't contributing by hiding ourselves from others. We aren't contributing by diminishing ourselves or our abilities when we can just let them shine and ripple forth positive energies throughout the world. Spirit would not want us to diminish ourselves. What a waste that would be! So enjoy life and live it fully and contribute what you can when you can. It will bring you back wonderful things. But that isn't the point. The point is that whenever we contribute, we are able to plant positive seeds throughout the world. These seeds will grow and flourish forever. That is eternal life!

Blessed Be

Trent

Life is too short to not pay attention!

“To die without being forgotten is to be eternal.” Lao-tzu. This from a person who’s philosophy has lasted thousands of years! Talk about being eternal! I enjoy this statement because we often get caught up in some of the silliest things in our lives and forget what is really important. The other day a young woman got off a city bus and walked right out in front of me as I was driving down the street. She was on her cell phone, not paying attention at all to what she was doing. Brakes on a vehicle are a great thing, when you have enough notice to use them. She was very fortunate that day. But I gave her a little toot with the horn to wake her up so that she didn’t kill herself, and she simply gave a glare and continued talking as she walked across the street while continuing this “very important phone call”.

I don’t know if the call was personal or professional, but it was certainly not worth risking her life. And I began to wonder how she would be remembered? Being very young, she may not have had time yet to do something big that the world could remember her for. But on a personal level, I am sure that someone would remember her fondly for something. Did she not care about that?

Ever since I became a father I have become aware of the fragility of life. It is a precious gift and one that can get ended and altered way too quickly for our human souls to deal with. I would not want to be the father who just found out that his daughter was just killed as she jay walked across a street. I would not want to be the brother, the mother, the sister, the lover of anyone who had this happen. Yet this sort of thing does happen when we don’t pay attention to what is going on around us.

Once becoming a father I also noticed that my own self-worth grew exponentially. Where people would be able to walk all over me before, I found myself saying things like, “You have no right to treat the father of my children that way.” I know it stemmed from a protective aspect of fatherhood, more than a protective instinct for myself. But at least it was a start. It made me begin to pay attention to what is going on around me so that I can be safe and know that at the end of the day, I am still here for my children.

So when I die I would like to be remembered. I would like people to remember me as a man with a huge heart. I would like to be the guy who stayed true to himself, even if it was against what society thought to be acceptable. I would like to be the guy who loved more deeply than anyone thought possible. I would like people to remember me as the man who voiced and acted with compassion. I don’t want to be worshipped. I don’t want people to blather on about how wonderful I was if I really wasn’t. We’ve all been to a funeral or two like that and looked around, wondering if we were at the right event. I just want to not be forgotten by those close to me and by those whose lives I have had a positive effect upon.

Don’t worry. I am not planning on exiting stage left any time soon. I am just aware that we never know when that truck comes around the corner just as we step off the curb.

Blessed Be

Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com