The Black Fawn

I don't know about you, but I cannot read the acknowledgement on the bottom left corner of this photo. So I apologize to whomever took this picture if I am infringing on any copy write stuff. I also applaud you for taking such an amazing photo, whoever you are!

This one came to me via email and I have now saved it as my screen saver. The reason....I can relate. It reminds me of myself when I was a child. I was always running full throttle with joy in my heart and loved being in the great outdoors. I was also different from the other kids I knew....actually from most of the other people, child or adult, that I knew. So in a way it is a representation of my freedom as well as of my greatest challenges.

The challenges were to find a way to "fit in" and to connect on a social level without compromising my own uniqueness and to find a way to not have my uniqueness put me into dangerous situations. I am still a part of the herd, but not in a way that helps me to "blend in" very easily. There are others like me out there, but we tend to stay as hidden as possible just out of self-preservation.

So along the way I discovered that I needed to grow thicker skin. That meant that in order to not get all caught up in society's expectations of me I had to find a way to not give a crap about what those expectations were. This was not an easy task by any stretch. I had to find ways of gaining speed and leaping far and high in order to escape those expectations. I think that I have, for the most part, become quite successful at this. It has not been without a few stumbling blocks along the way. But each time I stumbled I discovered a new way to not stumble the next time.

So now here I am, a fully grown black deer(horn) and someone who helps others to find their own paths amongst the world of expectations and limitations. In a way, I guess that I am helping them to join my herd of misfits. Not that I want followers by any stretch, but at least some amount of strength comes in numbers. That way we can all support and watch out for each other. Unfortunately, we do still live in a world where "different" is considered to be dangerous. Human responses to "different" can be quite aggressive at times. So ya, we all need to stick together and support our uniqueness while helping each other to still function in a dysfunctional world.

Blessed Be
Trent
http://www.youtube.com/trentdeerhorn
www.deerhornshamanic.com

Be Yourself

So often we find ourselves peeking out at the world from within a hole we crawled into to get away from the world. Most often we end up in that hole as a result of accepting someone else's beliefs about who we are. Most often those beliefs are projection of that person's own circumstances and have nothing to do with us at all. I recently had an experience like that. I chose to not hide in a hole.

A dear friend informed me that someone she knows has been trashing me. This person is someone who has never taken the time to get to know me. She simply has beliefs that are a little strange to me. Do I worry about this type of person? Well, why would I? She only harms herself every time she trashes me. People are not stupid. They can tell, like my friend did, that this person is wacked and they know that what she says is more indicative of who she is that who I am.

When something like this happens, however, I always look into what it is inside of me that resonated in such a way as to either draw the situation to me or even just to draw the disclosure to me. In much searching I found a wee twist in this. You see, what drew it out of the woodwork was my own personal quest for truth and authenticity. This quest brought up as well the antithesis of truth and authenticity so that I could see it. One must, after all, explore things from many different angles and through many different viewing lenses! It is like when someone is searching for love and gets a bunch of lessons in what love is not. The experience sucks but the lessons are invaluable!

What I am most grateful for is the friend who was courageous enough to disclose this to me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have shown me your own authenticity and strength in doing this. You have shown me that I can trust you. You have shown me that you have my back, and so I also have yours!

Just be yourself. Seek your truth and your authenticity within and let small minds go by the wayside. They don't know you and never will if they spout off the way this particular woman has done. You are bigger than that. Don't let a small mind hinder your great spirit.

Blessed Be
Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

Your Smiling Face

When I was very young I had to learn how to smile. This did not come naturally to me. I saw others do it, but knew that when animals "smile" and bare their teeth, it is a warning. I don't remember how I knew that, I just did. So smiling was something I had to work on. Over a few years I became more comfortable with the act. Now I can definitely appreciate a beautiful smile like this one.

I have, however, also become aware of how people use smiles to hide things. They smile when they are nervous, when they are wanting you to think they like you when really they don't, and when they are conning you. Then there is what I call the "born again" smile. "Really, everything is just fine! As long as we embrace the Lawd Jeeeeeeesus as our Saviour, no matter what happens everything will be okay." (That has to be read as a very thick Southern accent to have the full effect!)

How does one know which type of smile is authentic and which is not? There are so many agendas that people can have and sometimes they themselves don't even know that they are not being authentic. I think the worst smile I ever saw came from a wee little "Goldie Locks" type of girl. She was holding a long stick in both hands and walked up to the boy I was taking care of at the time. She was smiling away and when he said hello to her she began beating him with the stick like a martial artist would do with a staff, and with just as much ruthlessness involved in her energy. Needless to say, I intervened. I wish I could say that her body will never be found, but she was only about 5 years old. She still had the potential to grow into a good person.

So smiling can be used to trick a person. Hmmmm. I think it is more important to then pay attention to the energy that is being emitted by the one who is smiling. Yes, there are visual effects in the energy system, but a lot of people misinterpret what those are and what they mean. I think it is more important to look into how we are feeling in the core. Are we nervous? Are we scared? Are we feeling safe? Are we feeling warm? Are we feeling loved and appreciated? And most important, are we feeling like there is something wrong, even though this person is smiling at us?

It is the red flags in life to which we need to pay the most attention. If we don't then we get messed up and have the "sucker punch" waiting for our faces. If only people were as straight forward as animals are! The world would be a much safer place.

Blessed Be
Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

Standing Out

The other day my daughters were with me and wanted to see the movie, "What A Girl Wants". It is a charming movie about a teenage girl who goes to England to find her biological father. He turns out to be a politician from an extremely wealthy family. For the sake of his position in society and at work, she tries to become the demure daughter that she thinks he wants her to be. Her boyfriend asks her a very important question, "Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out?"

That is my favorite line in the movie. There were a number of excellent lines. But this one really speaks to me and to everyone who has tried to be "normal" by sacrificing who they really are. If we could all just remember the fact that we are unique and that this is something to be celebrated, not stifled, the world would be a much more authentic place in which to live.

The truth is that trying to be something that we are not never really serves anyone in any way that could be considered significant. When we become and stay authentic to who we truly are, we serve ourselves and our world in ways that are more deep and meaningful than we sometimes even hope or dream they could be. This is why I enjoy the sandbox. It grounds me and keeps me real and allows me to creatively express myself. Ever since I was a little kid I have enjoyed the sandbox. Now I have a grown up sandbox, called a Zen Garden. It is a beautiful pottery tray that my daughter made in her pottery class, with sand from Hawaii and shells and a stone from the Rockies. It has a teeny weeny rake that I can use to make patterns in the sand. I could go on and on about it, but I won't. The point is that it is part of who I authentically am. And when I am on the beach, I make the most wonderful sand castles. When I make sand castles, most of the kids on the beach end up coming up and asking if they can help me. The answer is always yes. It is amazing what one can learn from a kid while making sand castles.

As an example, I was on a holiday once and was making a sand castle on a beach by a lake when a young boy named Devin came up to me and asked if he could join in. As we were building the sand castle, he revealed to me that he was an only child, that he loved to play the guitar and drums, that his favorite color was blue like the sky, that he could see all sorts of things in the clouds if he looked at them the right way, that his mom and dad were sitting on the bench about a hundred and fifty feet away watching us, that he loved to ride his bicycle, and that he thought that the world would be a better place if there were many more flavors of ice cream from which to select. I had to agree with the ice cream philosophy. Small things like that do indeed make the world a much better place in which to live!

So I invite everyone who reads this to play in the sand. This will help you to discover many a wisdom that is right there, just waiting to be uncovered. I also invite you to build sand castles with children in your world. And while you do, listen to them. They will always surprise you with the knowledge and wisdom that they can impart, when one is able to receive.

Blessed Be

Trent

www.deerhornshamanic.com

NCIS

It stands for Naval Crime Investigation Service. It is my favorite TV show. Yes! Shamans watch TV! It stars Mark Harmon (now most of the female viewing audience that I have are going to ditch me every Tuesday night for him!), Tim Weatherly, Cote dePablo, (now most of my male viewing audience are going to ditch me every Tuesday evening just for her!) Pauley Perrett, just to name a few. The thing that I like about the show is that all the characters are strong in their own ways. Each and every one of them knows how to be themselves and how to honor that even when confronting one of the other characters, and especially when confronting the bad guys.

How often in life do we wimp out and sell ourselves out to the "bad guys" who want to twist us into something we are not born to be? Personal authenticity is so important. We live in a culture that gives us so many hideous messages about not being good enough just the way we are and most of us buckle under the pressure. I invite everyone to stand strong in who you are. Yes, compromise is important, but only if it can be done while keeping the stuff that matters most intact.

I am a dad. First and foremost, I am a dad. And my new partner honors that so well. There is none of that being threatened by the kids or the kids being threatened by her stuff going on. After being a dad, I am her partner. I love being her partner. Then I am a shaman. That is where my passion gets to express itself in ways that help ripple positive effects throughout the community and the world. I love to help people and that is what I do.

Sometimes the people that I work with expect me to do things that don't comply with who I am before I am a shaman. So, for example, when someone expects services for free I explain to them the impossibility of that considering that I have other people who need me to pay bills, put a roof over their heads, feed them, clothe them, pay for music lessons and softball leagues and the like. Who the heck can afford to do anything they do professionally for free? Perhaps independently wealthy folks have that luxury, but I do not. People often forget that in addition to being a shaman I am also a regular guy with a family and someone who also likes to now and then sit down and watch NCIS. It is not their fault. It is simple human ignorance. So when I explain this to them, they become educated and understand that, in addition to being a shaman, I am a regular guy. Now I am also not so regular a guy that I can fit in at the golf course! In fact, I don't golf at all and the mere thought of seeing me try makes me laugh till tears roll down my face. No, not quite that regular. And please, no puns on the word "regular" in the comments section!

Blessed Be
Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

Personal Authenticity

I often encourage people to "follow the path of the heart". In fact I have that on my message manager announcement. But some don't know what the phrase really means. It means personal authenticity and integrity. It means allowing yourself the courage to do what you know to be right for yourself, no matter what our friends, family and society thinks. This of course does not mean that we can just do whatever the heck we like to anyone and not care about the ripple effects. But it does mean to be true to ourselves.

How do we know if we aren't being true to ourselves? Well, does it feel right and good? Or does it create turmoil in your gut? Are you coming from a place of compassion in your heart both for yourself and for everyone else who is affected? Or are you guilting or shaming yourself or anyone else? Are you trapped inside sentiment or nostalgia (the way things should have/would have/could have been, or the way things always were)? Or are you done shoulding on yourself?

Every decision we make in our lives gives us both limitations and liberties. We have to choose
which sets of limitations and liberties will go together and then we have to come to terms with which combination we can live with, and what we cannot live without. All very easy when it comes to buying groceries. But not so easy when it comes to living authentically in our personal lives. And the rotter is that no one can make the decisions for us. We have to meditate, contemplate and decide all on our own and let the chips fall where they may. And we all need to be responsible (the ability to respond) enough to make the decisions, because to not decide does not let us off the hook. It only delays our freedom.

Blessed Be

Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

River of Challenge

One of the other Rivers on the Medicine Wheel is the River of Challenge. On this river we are forced to take a good hard look at what it is we believe in and what we are willing to do in order to personally grow. This can be tough decision making. We are so used to the Ostrich approach or the Deer caught in the headlights approach, that rarely do we take the Mountain Lion approach, which is to leap and know that you will either find a safe and secure place to land or you will learn to fly.

The River of Challenge forces us to go within and face our personal fears, anxieties and powers. I am always amazed at how often people will be more afraid of their own power than they are of their fears and anxieties. I think that says a lot about how our society systematically disempowers us and then praises us for being sheep instead of lone wolves. As we meet the challenges in our lives, it would be nice if we could actively do so from a place of personal empowerment instead of one of personal weakness. No wonder people struggle with this river. It challenges us to grow a spine! It forces us to reach into the depths of our souls and find the courage that we never knew existed.

But once we do, what we find is a lot of resources for dealing with change, the unknown and helping others to cope with all of that. We discover that we can ride the rapids and we can yell "Weeeeee!" at the top of our lungs with a great sense of adventure instead of freezing up and closing our hearts down for fear of that "Weeee!" being heard. With the "adventure wiring" in working order, we are then able to truly enjoy the ride and celebrate every single milestone in our lives, unashamed and completely from a place of personal authenticity. We are able to live and to breathe and to know that all is as it should be. So rock on with that River! After all, it really serves no one for us to pretend that we have no power, least of all ourselves.

Blessed Be

Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com