Bending Over Backwards

It is important to remain flexible. This helps us to deal with all of life's transitions, of which there is usually an abundance. If we are unable to be flexible, we end up becoming broken. Sometimes, however, it is important to know that we need not bend over backwards in order to please someone else's requirements.

I have often had to let people know that their personal needs are not my personal emergency. They don't get that the first time, usually. But over time they realize that if there is something that definitely requires my attention, I am Johnny on the Spot! If it is something that they themselves can definitely take care of, then far be it from me to take that opportunity away from them. After all, how else are they going to learn to respond to their own needs if someone else is willing to fulfill them before they have a chance to do so themselves?

I would often say to my daughters that I would not tie their shoes for them when I knew that they knew how to. I don't do things for people that they can do for themselves. That would just enable their co-dependence. Instead, I will celebrate every time they accomplish something for themselves. So I would praise my daughters every time they tied their own shoes. I would do this even if they at first had asked me to do it. That way they got the message that they are capable, even in times when they at first think that they are not.

We could all use a cheerleader now and then.

Blessed Be

Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

Obligation vs Responsibility

I so often hear people say things like, "If I didn't have to do this, then I would have time to do that, which is what I really love to do." I have always challenged this idea. People don't often realize that there is a difference between obligations and responsibilities. Obligations tend to be burdensome. Responsibilities tend to be liberating.

Let's say, for example, that I have offered to feed and walk someone's dog for the two weeks that they are away on vacation. I will certainly do that because I have obliged myself to do so. No matter what else may come up in my life, the dog will get fed and walked. This is an obligation. It is short term and at the end of the term I am free and clear to do whatever I want with the rest of the time I have on this earth. But for the two week period, I am burdened with the dog and its needs.

Now I am also a responsible person. If, for example, while this dog is in my care it should happen to get ill, I will certainly take care of it. I am able to respond to this dog's particular and specific situation. That is what responsibility is. It is the ability to respond.

When we are able to respond we become liberated. We are no longer trapped in the haze and fog of common consciousness. We are able to clearly see what is going on around us and take appropriate action in response to what we are perceiving. As we take action our world unfolds around us in the way it will, according to universal laws that state that all actions have a ripple effect. In the case of the dog, the ripple effect is the gratitude that its owners will feel knowing that, whatever was happening, their dog was cared for and not alone. Should I not respond to the sick dog, then when they come back home the ripple effect is much more negative.

When we apply these principles to every day life and relationships we find that we become more conscious of others' needs as well as of what our own needs might be. Clear communication is then possible and we are able to liberate ourselves from mundane misery and experience full joy and abundance. We then don't have to wait to do what we love to do. We do that and, while we do that, we also respond to the world around us. The thing is that we always have a choice in any situation. Even not choosing is a choice that leads somewhere. As we make our decisions, we allow ourselves to flow with the ripple effect.

Blessed Be

Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

The Night Shift

I call it the night shift because I seem to do a lot of work during that time. As many of you know, I am a dream walker. I get messages in my dream state, connect with others through the dream weave to deliver messages and send healing energies, and have a whole other job at an ethereal collage that can be accessed through the dream state. I often joke that 90% of what I do for the world I don't get paid for and few know about.

But that is what makes some of it so special. It is like being an anonymous donor. And that anonymity gives me a feeling of even more authenticity in my work because I don't have to deal with people's feelings of gratitude that sometimes gets mixed up with feelings of obligation. The gratitude part I can accept whole heartedly. But when it becomes obligation then people get a little strange with what they feel they must do for you, whether you want them to or not. Sometimes, because of the abilities I have been born with, people will treat me like I am something from out of this world or like I am a god or something. Please! I pass gas just like everyone else! I am human and, yes, I need to be loved and honored, but not worshiped. I think that it is easy for everyone to get caught up in false humility (Who? Little ol' me?) and also to get caught up in ego trips (But of course you worship me...I'm so above everyone in the world!). I would rather that everyone just be themselves, authentically.

John Mason said "You were born an original. Don't die a copy." I have to agree with this. It is more important to be a first rate version of yourself than it is to be a second rate version of anyone else. After all, that way we can avoid the temptation to buy into mob mentality. We can also then move 50 or more years ahead in consciousness and help to pull the rest along into the 21st century. Sometimes it can be a game of tug of war. But if they pull back too hard, just let go of the rope. After all, they have free will and can make their own decisions. But we also don't need to be tied down to them. We can simply continue to move forward.

Blessed Be

Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

Personal Authenticity

I often encourage people to "follow the path of the heart". In fact I have that on my message manager announcement. But some don't know what the phrase really means. It means personal authenticity and integrity. It means allowing yourself the courage to do what you know to be right for yourself, no matter what our friends, family and society thinks. This of course does not mean that we can just do whatever the heck we like to anyone and not care about the ripple effects. But it does mean to be true to ourselves.

How do we know if we aren't being true to ourselves? Well, does it feel right and good? Or does it create turmoil in your gut? Are you coming from a place of compassion in your heart both for yourself and for everyone else who is affected? Or are you guilting or shaming yourself or anyone else? Are you trapped inside sentiment or nostalgia (the way things should have/would have/could have been, or the way things always were)? Or are you done shoulding on yourself?

Every decision we make in our lives gives us both limitations and liberties. We have to choose
which sets of limitations and liberties will go together and then we have to come to terms with which combination we can live with, and what we cannot live without. All very easy when it comes to buying groceries. But not so easy when it comes to living authentically in our personal lives. And the rotter is that no one can make the decisions for us. We have to meditate, contemplate and decide all on our own and let the chips fall where they may. And we all need to be responsible (the ability to respond) enough to make the decisions, because to not decide does not let us off the hook. It only delays our freedom.

Blessed Be

Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com