Saturday, December 11, 2010
A couple of months ago my Love and I went out to eat at a local restaurant. The dining area was just across the foyer from the lounge. There was a football game being broadcast and from the dining room we could hear what sounded like dozens of bar stool fans cheering and yelling and screaming at the large flat screen tv. When our waitress came to our table I told her that I was doing a sociological survey regarding sports fans and asked her if she could answer one simple question: "Why the heck do sports fans yell and scream at a television screen when the athletes on the screen can't hear them?" Her answer was, "Beats me."
Last night I finally found out what the answer was. But I did not find the answer at a local sports bar or from a couch athlete. I learned it from within myself, and man was I shocked to discover the answer and even more shocked at the process! You see, my Love and I, still getting over the flu that ravaged our home and levelled everyone in its path, including the cat, were watching Christmas chick flicks that she had recorded earlier. I must say that normally I am not into chick flicks at all. But these two movies actually had some story line to them and a lot of outrageous humor. Suddenly I found myself screaming at the tv screen stuff like, "Noooooo! Don't marry her! She's a skank who is not in love with you! Run, man! Run like the wind! Run hard and fast and don't stop!" And then it hit me. I bought into the movie and was passionately involved in the story line! So that is what it takes...to become a tv screen screamer you have to be passionately involved! That is what the bar stool sports fans were experiencing....passionate involvement! It was truly an "Ahahhhh" moment.
While watching these movies I realized a few things that I always knew inside. First off, I am a lover. I am not what I would consider to be a "romantic", but I am a lover. Secondly, there is a difference between loving someone and actually being in love with someone. Any one of us can love any number of people. Very few of us actually get to experience the kind of crazy love that actually being in love with another brings to us. I have loved many over my lifetime, but have seldom actually been in love with someone else. Most often I have loved another who thought she was in love with me when actually she just loved me. You see, when you are in love with another there is a mutual passionate connection between the two of you through that love. It is not something that has to be mustered up or even something that can be put on hold while the rest of your life takes over your love life. No phone call is more important, no text is more important, no song on the radio is more important, no game play in the final inning is more important than the one with whom you are in love. Nothing takes the place of the person with whom you are in love. Thirdly, love should never be decided based on fear. Fear has no place in love. Fear only stands in the way of love and tries to diminish love or negate it altogether. When you are in love with another you have no problem whatsoever in risking everything for that love. Any perceived risk becomes an investment in that love.
I am very happy that I can experience being in love with another. It becomes much less enjoyable when you or the other only love the other person and neither one is actually in love with the other person. That can actually become quite painful and eventually will destroy the relationship.
Oh, and by the way, I would highly recommend the remake of the movie It Had To Be You, with Natasha Henstridge and Michael Vartan. It is an amazing story of two people who fall in love with each other while shopping for their respective weddings to other people. I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me....