Saturday, December 4, 2010

National Treasury

I know that sometimes products need to be child proof in order to be safe. I know that there are some really mean and horribly sadistic people out there who will sometimes try to poison food products. But when breaking into my favorite chocolates during the Christmas season, which only lasts so long, becomes like breaking into the Grand National Treasury then something's gotta give!

I don't consider myself addicted to chocolate. In fact, I can easily go even for months without chocolate. I usually do not binge on it either. But this particular chocolate is, as advertised, a gift from the Gods! I know that I can only have 2-3 of the nuggets if I don't want a headache afterwards. So I go easy on it. After my first I usually wait at least 5 seconds before I have the second and then I always wait a minimum of 2.3 seconds before I have the third. After all, it is important to each chocolate respectfully and responsibly.

So you can imagine my, shall I say "frustration" (insert nervous twitch here), when yesterday it took me 20 minutes just to break into the plastic vault that they arrived in! I used a knife to break the seal, which was not functioning like a properly designed seal should in that the tag that you pull broke upon the first tug, and then I used scissors to try to cut along the edge of the lip of the container, then I twisted and tugged and tried different angles and even different ways to hold my mouth! Just at the point where I was about to pull out my sledge hammer and make chocolate pudding....POP! The lid came off! There were chocolate nuggets all over the kitchen as they spewed from the container. One even landed in the cat food dish! Did that stop me? No way! I worked hard for that prize and I was not about to let the frickin' cat have it! There is, in our house the seven second rule. If it hits the floor and within seven seconds it is picked up it can be eaten. Well, they all hit the floor at some point during this escapade, so.....

Honest.....I'm not addicted! I AM NOT! In fact, there are at least 5 left! How dare you ask me how big a
container it was! What business is that of yours? It is not relevant! Okay, fine, enough with the third degree! There were somewhere between 5 and 24. No! I did not eat them all! I think some rolled under the fridge! Honest....see? There's one under there! If you get right down on the floor and close the eye that is not on the floor and use a flashlight....oh. A dust bunny you say? Well.....THE DUST BUNNY ATE IT!

Blessed Be
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