Thursday, June 26, 2008

All that is Normal may not be made of Gold

I recently had a discussion with a friend about his children. Believe it or not, dads to talk about children and fatherhood and how to raise them right. So as we were talking I became aware that he has some insecurities about whether or not his kids are "normal" because they are not doing what other kids their age are doing. The youngest one is about 4 months old. This one (can you believe it?) is not sleeping through the night. The middle one is about 3 and she is having some difficulty tying her shoes. The oldest, who is 5 can't yet spell her 15 syllable sir name.

I assured him that the 4 month old will probably, sooner or later when about 15 years old, sleep through the night, and that tying shoes is made easy with Velcro and that it took me till I was 7 to spell my (at that time) 3 syllable sir name.

We put so much pressure on kids these days to perform certain tasks that we see as a mark of their capabilities and intelligence. Yet we don't realize that most of the time we are simply wanting them to conform to a standard set out by society that is viewed as "normal" when it is actually quite unreasonable. And when they can't do it, then there is so much shame placed upon us as parents.

I remember a music teacher telling me that if my daughter couldn't write a proper sharp sign on the music staff, then she could just show me where it goes and I could do it for her. She would still get the credit for doing it. First off, this music program gave way too much paper work to be done at home each week. Secondly, I don't have time to sit and work on fifteen sharp signs when there are so many other and more fun things that I could be doing with my kid. Thirdly, why would I want to encourage my daughter to cheat in order to get credit for something she didn't do? But god forbid there be something flawed with the "program"!! Needless to say, about 2 weeks before the end of the year, we dropped the program. She didn't get the credit, but she was so much less stressed that it was definitely the right decision.

Let's teach our kids to be self-reliant, self-thinking individuals who are not going to conform to society's expectations just to fit in. The world needs more forward thinkers than it does followers.

Blessed Be


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The Gift of Deception

Have you ever had one of those moments when you realize that you have been snowed? I mean completely, thoroughly snowed? I have. So what do these moments mean? Why is it that we can be so deceived by another?

One reason is innocence. The other reason is denial. When we allow ourselves to become deceived, we allow ourselves to experience something that will hone our senses about who we really are and what we really believe. Yes, the individual or group who deceives us has no right to do that to us. And yes we need to look at what it was inside ourselves that made us such an easy target.

So often we get snowed because we are in a place of innocence and wouldn't for a minute think that someone would mean us any harm. Then we experience the slap upside the head as we find out that not everyone in the world has benevolent intentions. Our hearts get broken and we think that we will never experience trust again. The total disillusionment is just that, the complete destruction of the illusions we held onto so tightly that led us to the moment of truth.

We also get fooled because we don't want to see what is right in front of our faces. Our best friends can see it. If they are truly good friends they will broach the subject with us so that we get a different perspective. If we are truly good friends we will seriously consider what the friend is saying and not attack them for speaking their truth. The denial aspect happens in many cases because of some serious hard wiring in our brains that has to do with who our parents are or what our parents believed about us. But we can't just blame our parents. There comes a time in everyone's life when we have to stop snowing ourselves and see what is right in front of us, and this can not be done unless we are willing to own our own "stuff" regardless of what our parents taught us.

So the next time you experience getting snowed, just remember to first look at yourself and see what it was inside that set up the situation in the first place. To only point at the other person does no justice to the situation at all. We also have, in the act itself of pointing, four other fingers pointing right back at ourselves!

Blessed Be

Trent Deerhorn

Friday, June 20, 2008

Love and Sex

I can't believe how often people differentiate the two! Yes, one could have sex without love. But why? Yes, one could have a "romantic" love without sex. But why?

Sex is something that is sacred, good, godly and healthy. Adults often forget that they need to play too. We are programmed to think that the only folks who are allowed to play are kids, and this would only be if they aren't too busy doing assigned homework (a stupid concept), running to various activities in a "keep them busy" mentality, eating or sleeping. So when does anyone, child or adult, ever get to just play???? Oh, ya, that would be on the two weeks of vacation time. Sorry, but that is not enough play time. No wonder people die young! They don't have any life force left inside of them to sustain their sacred temples (bodies).

The Creator gave us sex. We were given gender for a reason. This determines what forms of pleasure we experience. This does not determine what orientation we are "supposed" to have, just the forms of pleasure. Yes, the Creator gave us sex as a means of procreating. But we were not given sex only for that purpose. There are plenty out there who are unable to procreate but are still able to enjoy sexual pleasures. Sex was given to us as a wonderful means to play and experience pleasure and connection with one another and with the Creator.

It is my personal recommendation that a practice of daily sexual activity be incorporated. DAILY!!!??? Yes, daily. We are not creatures who are designed to just turn off a switch and not go back into that room for days, weeks, months or years at a time. We need to visit the room daily. This way our sexual energies (the largest amongst all human energies) are well lubricated, well utilized and strengthened so that they can support all the other energies throughout the human form. will help your complexion. ;-)

Blessed Be

Thursday, June 19, 2008


What the heck does "cultured" actually mean? In gardening terms it means to help to grow or to cultivate. And we all know what "culture" means when it is in a test tube or petrie dish. I don't even know how to spell that kind of dish let alone use one!

In modern society, to be "cultured" is something similar to being "bred" or "molded" into something more "refined" than the average person. In shamanic terms this is called "brain washed". We need to look very long and hard at the ways in which we have become cultured. When we do we often find that it was a means of taking away our innocence and our intuitive processes in order to make us conform.

I remember first going to school and finding that this was not a happy place. It was not nearly as much fun as my back yard and definitely not as fun as being with my grandmother when everyone else in the whole world (or so it seemed) was in school. It didn't help that my grade 1 teacher was a tyrant who enjoyed beating (especially boys) with a yard stick over the head. Don't ever be caught gazing out the window to the great outdoors, man! That was a sure fire instant death wish! She also liked to not let little girls go to the washroom during class time. So there were a lot of mortified girls with wet pants and skirts at the end of the day. In this day and age the woman would have been sent to prison for child abuse. Back then, Nazis like her ruled the day.

So that was my first introduction to culture. From there it continued to show its ugly head in terms of peer pressure, then social programming from the television and I won't even go into the whole church thing! Yikes!

So when I reached my early twenties I decided to say goodbye to much of that programming. That was my first step in my male liberation. Many women have thanked me for that because, unlike other men in their lives, I don't think a woman's place is to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. I had three older sisters who were women's libers and I think that this helped me a lot to see things from an entirely different perspective than the one that was being shoved down my throat by "culture".

My most liberating moment though, was when I realized that, even though it had been a long time since preschool, the birds and animals and trees were quite willing to still talk with me. They never forgot me. I had forgotten them because I was told to. But they never forgot me. So now my revenge on culture is that no matter where I go, I have friends in nature as well as in the two legged variety. And I can inspire others to reconnect with their own natural way of being and with who they truly are, instead of who they "ought" to be!

Blessed Be

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

That Jazzy Jedi Thing

The learning is never completely done. There will always be something else to yet learn. So why do some of us freeze up and look like a deer caught in the headlights when it comes to learning something new? I think it is often because to learn something new is yet another form of change and change requires some transition time. When we allow the transition to flow, we learn more swiftly. When we resist it, we become rigid and lack what it takes to do the learning. Then all our insecurities come out.

Why do I have to do this? Why are they making me go through this? Don't they know my way is better? This is how this was always done for the last 20 or so years, so why change it all now?

The thing is, as I have said many a time before, change is inevitable. The growth part is optional. But there are some things, such as changes in or work place, that require us to grow and flow with it, or else we end up in search of a new job. Not that a new job is a bad thing, so long as it is by our own choice.

I am fortunate enough to both be self-employed and to require very little in terms of technology to do my job. So I don't have the stress of learning a new computer program after just mastering the first one. But there are some changes that require my learning curve to activate. For example, with my new circumstances I have had to find a new place out of which to work. Now that this change is in place, I now have to adjust my fee schedule so that I can cover expenses. This change then ripples to clients who have to adjust to affording a fee hike. And let's face it, I am still not paid entirely for what I am worth. I don't know who is, really. But all the change requires more "spare change" and some adjustment on the parts of everyone involved.

The undercurrent of stress involved in any change or transition can cause some grief. I highly recommend Walnut in the Bach Flower Remedies to help with such things. A few drops into your water glass can certainly take the edge off of the transition stress. It will also help you to sleep better at night, transitioning you from wake to sleep time, and then into dream time.

So the learning never stops. That is something that every Jedi warrior has to understand. This also keeps the Jedi warrior's ego out of the equation when it comes to having to learn something on the spot. Without all the "I can'ts" and "I don't know hows" in the way, the learning comes easy schmeezy!

Blessed Be


Friday, June 13, 2008

Zen Gardens

As I was waiting for my Google account to kick in and let me into my blog (high speed my behind!) I was casually stirring my zen garden sand. The container is a beautiful square dish that my daughter made in her pottery class. I always feel warm and fuzzy when I see it. Inside the dish is a bunch of sand from Maui that I received from a dear friend who was my daughter in a past life. The shells I received from a friend who was my father in a past life and is now a good buddy of mine, and the stone is a petrified chrysalis that connects me to the ancient times. As I stir the sand I find that I am taken to a deep place within that is very peaceful and not at all concerned with appointments, taxes and traffic. It gives me a sense of well being that is matched only with receiving a healing treatment.

It is amazing how simply stirring a bit of sand can completely shift your consciousness. And then I am made very aware of the outside world once again as the blog site pops up on my screen. Then poof! there you all are and I am ready to write once again. Try a zen garden. You might like it!

Blessed Be

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Flow vs Control

My partner said to me last night that "In order to get in the flow, we need to let go of control." Brilliant!! So I wrote that down right away. It was at whatever time in the wee hours of the morning that she said this. So considering the last time I did not write it down and forgot it by the time morning came along, I thought that I would write it down. Still sounds profound to me.

So often we are desperately trying to control the things and people around us just to feel safe and secure that we get completely out of the flow of the universe. So I woke up this morning and saw that the weather is really kind of nasty and went through about 5 minutes of self-grumbling because I now have to wear pants instead of my summer shorts, and then it hit me! Like a ton of bricks it was! I don't need to be put out by the weather because I don't need to control it in any way! As a shaman I am trained to influence the weather, yes, but I don't have to! And I don't have to do that in order to have a wonderful day no matter what the weather may be! Whew! One less thing for which I need to be responsible!

So now I can get on with having an excellent day and I can do so no matter what the freaky weather is doing! I hope all of you out there are able to do the same.

Blessed Be

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


Isn't it wonderful. You can cruise almost anywhere in the universe with just the click of the mouse. That is until your blog site blocks your access! Suddenly you are no longer so free to do what you please and say what you like. It has been DAYS since my last entry and just this morning I finally got access back. And now, I have been so frustrated that all I can think is "Thank God! I'm in!" And then nothing else comes to mind. It is kind of like having sex for the first time in years. Thank God! I'm in!

Anyway, I am back and once I have more time in the next day or two I will be creating more entries for your viewing enjoyment. I thank everyone for being so patient with me!


Saturday, June 7, 2008

Necessary Evils

Is there such a thing? The concept of a necessary evil has always baffled me. I know I sometimes feel that way when having to pay huge amounts (for me) of taxes. But when I look at what our tax dollars provide us with, I am sometimes relieved that there is that fund for things like highways and schools and disaster relief. Then I think about military weapons and I change my mind. Then I think about military invasion....suddenly the weapons don't seem like such a bad idea.

I have heard people use the expression "necessary evil" in regards to things like menstrual cycles, family reunions, work etc. I can't see the evil part of any of these. We always have choice when it comes to obligations, and we could always do what we love to do for work instead of what we "have" to do. And when it comes to the whole moon cycle thing that women go through (and this comes from a man who remembers being a woman in several past lives), what the heck is the big deal??? It is only nature. It is not evil or dirty in any way, contrary to what most fundamentalist philosophies would have you believe.

So is there such a thing as a necessary evil? I don't know. I guess that I have not had to face one yet. Oh, ya. University. But that is even an option. Hmmm.

Blessed Be

Friday, June 6, 2008

The Bravest Among Us

Have you ever noticed how the bravest people among us are often those who appear to be the most fragile? I remember in school there was this kid who was always so pale and thin. He was picked on by many of the bullies. Having endured that sort of treatment myself, I knew that it wasn't an easy road for him. So I befriended him. In so doing I was risking getting the bejeebers beaten out of me again, but I figured that could possibly happen sooner or later anyway, so why not make a friend. He was not an easy cookie to crack. He was very shy, closed, private and sometimes, when he would actually talk, he would say things that would normally make a person say to themselves, "Screw it, I was only trying to be your friend and now you've blown it, so to heck with you!" But what he didn't know was that what he held inside himself in the form of pain, I held in the form of persistence. It took a good month and a half, but he finally opened up to me. We became good friends, but kept the friendship very private because he didn't want to connect with anyone else.

Why did he not want to connect with anyone else? Because he was dying. He had cancer. We all have our cross to bear and his was this disease that was eating away at his immune system and slowly killing him. He didn't live that long. In fact, I think it was less than a year and then I was at his funeral. This was very sad to me. Not because he died. It was sad because others in the world around him were mean to him. It was sad because he didn't feel safe enough to share things with others, sometimes myself included. It was sad because others didn't get a chance, in their ignorance, to see the tremendous strength and bravery that this young kid had. And then he was gone. The bullies went on with their lives and became more abusive as they went. The world kept turning and time kept moving right along. In some ways, if one were to not see more deeply into things, it was almost as though he had never existed. But for myself and certainly for his family, he still exists in our hearts. We got to see the brave soul that he was. We got to see the vibrant life that he had. We got to see the Light within every aspect of his being. And then, like a burned out star, he was no longer here on this earth for us to see.

He still visits me now and then. I am happy when I see him. He is ecstatic that I have grown to become who I am and to do what I do. He recently visited me and told me that his time to reincarnate was close at hand. Now, in spirit terms this could mean immediately or it could mean sometime in the next decade or so. But he is ready to take on the world again. I hope that I have the opportunity to meet him in his new form, whenever and wherever he decides to come back.

Blessed Be

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Just be Koi

On the wall above my computer I have a painting that I did about 3 years ago. It is a painting of two koi fish in a pond, looking down upon them from above. The title of the painting is "Just be Koi." I like playing with words. There is so much double meaning in the title.

I titled it that way as a reminder for myself. It reminds me to not try to be anything that I am not. Like the koi in the painting are just being themselves, so must I just be who I am. I had someone recently ask me to not do any magic in regards to a situation. I found this an interesting concept because to ask me to not do magic is like asking me to not breathe. It is a part of who I always have been. I am a magical being. I can't be a non-magical being to save my life. Yes, I have addressed this with the person, and we will see how this plays out as we go. But the concept itself has me shaking my head. So instead of just being coy about it, I have decided to address it straight up front. I think that honesty and being in the now and addressing things in the present is extremely important for any healthy relationship.

Let's face it. Who really has the time to hold onto stuff and carry it around wherever we go? That just seems way too exhausting. And I don't like the idea of weighing myself down so that I am unable to move freely or breathe. I am an Air elemental. I need to breathe and have the space to do it. So if I were to not address things right away, I would not be able to have that space to breathe because the emotional energy would be cluttered. I would also not be honoring the friendship between the other person and myself.

Always make space and always make peace whenever and wherever you can.

Blessed Be


Wednesday, June 4, 2008


It stands for Naval Crime Investigation Service. It is my favorite TV show. Yes! Shamans watch TV! It stars Mark Harmon (now most of the female viewing audience that I have are going to ditch me every Tuesday night for him!), Tim Weatherly, Cote dePablo, (now most of my male viewing audience are going to ditch me every Tuesday evening just for her!) Pauley Perrett, just to name a few. The thing that I like about the show is that all the characters are strong in their own ways. Each and every one of them knows how to be themselves and how to honor that even when confronting one of the other characters, and especially when confronting the bad guys.

How often in life do we wimp out and sell ourselves out to the "bad guys" who want to twist us into something we are not born to be? Personal authenticity is so important. We live in a culture that gives us so many hideous messages about not being good enough just the way we are and most of us buckle under the pressure. I invite everyone to stand strong in who you are. Yes, compromise is important, but only if it can be done while keeping the stuff that matters most intact.

I am a dad. First and foremost, I am a dad. And my new partner honors that so well. There is none of that being threatened by the kids or the kids being threatened by her stuff going on. After being a dad, I am her partner. I love being her partner. Then I am a shaman. That is where my passion gets to express itself in ways that help ripple positive effects throughout the community and the world. I love to help people and that is what I do.

Sometimes the people that I work with expect me to do things that don't comply with who I am before I am a shaman. So, for example, when someone expects services for free I explain to them the impossibility of that considering that I have other people who need me to pay bills, put a roof over their heads, feed them, clothe them, pay for music lessons and softball leagues and the like. Who the heck can afford to do anything they do professionally for free? Perhaps independently wealthy folks have that luxury, but I do not. People often forget that in addition to being a shaman I am also a regular guy with a family and someone who also likes to now and then sit down and watch NCIS. It is not their fault. It is simple human ignorance. So when I explain this to them, they become educated and understand that, in addition to being a shaman, I am a regular guy. Now I am also not so regular a guy that I can fit in at the golf course! In fact, I don't golf at all and the mere thought of seeing me try makes me laugh till tears roll down my face. No, not quite that regular. And please, no puns on the word "regular" in the comments section!

Blessed Be

Tuesday, June 3, 2008


Have you ever noticed how many mental tangents you experience in, say, a five minute period? Try this. Have a conversation with someone. While that person is speaking to you, listen. Just listen. Don't interrupt with your own thoughts and stories of your own experiences while they are talking. Don't interject your perceptions while they are talking. This is an exercise in the art of conversation. One person talks. Just ONE person talks. Then the other person responds when the first person is FINISHED talking.

Now that the rules are clear, listen to what the person is saying. Now listen some more. In the amount of time it took that person to finish, how many thought tangents have you had? How many places did you go that had nothing whatsoever to do with what the person was saying? Grocery lists, taxes, tasks lists, did I return the call to so and so who left me a message last week? When was that appointment that I was supposed to keep? I bet if I got the kids off to school on Wednesday there would be time to paint the living room. All of these kinds of thoughts are distractions. I will venture to guess that you experienced quite a few, and if so, welcome to the western world's version of reality.

Now, every time you have a tangent distracting you while someone is talking to you, breathe it out and away. You don't have to be labored in your breath, or that becomes a distraction in and of itself, even for the other person. Keep your lips closed so that you aren't saying anything that will interrupt, and breathe it out and away. Bring your mind back to the present moment and the conversation at hand.

You will find that as you do this, you will become much more attuned to what is being said to you, picking up on the subtleties and innuendos, and that in doing so you will discover deeper meanings in everything that is communicated. You will also find that in doing this you will be more aware, eventually, of the surroundings in which the conversation is taking place. Details that you would not have noticed that were perhaps in your peripheral vision, become part of the entire experience.

In ancient cultures there was something called the Talking Stick. This was a stick that was created from certain types of trees (the medicine of which was indicative of the energy that moved through the talking stick) and decorated with leather, fur, beads, feathers and the like. In council meetings, the talking stick would be passed around and each person had an opportunity to voice his or her thoughts and feelings. This also gave everyone else the opportunity to actively listen. As the talking stick moved around the circle, each person's individual voice would be not only heard, but honored as well. Each member of the circle would be in the moment with the conversation and would be able to train themselves to pay full attention to what is being said.

Now, how many times in the course of the day do you find yourself interrupted when you are trying to say something? Annoying, isn't it? Perhaps the talking stick should be introduced to the general populace. If each of us, however, trains ourselves to be good listeners then we can jump start the whole experience. We can then take those with whom we converse to a new level of awareness, simply by going there ourselves. After all, we do have two ears and only one mouth for a very good reason!

Blessed Be