Monday, March 21, 2011

Making a Woman HOT!

There are a few things that I have learned on this subject over the last 40 or so years. Frankly, I don't think I even cared about it at all until I was around 11 or 12 years of age. But after that, like most young fellows I know, it became an obsession. And the funny thing is that the tips that actually work have nothing to do with how often or how well you work out. So the poor sod that posed for this picture is going to have to understand that the flesh alone is a very minimal part of what actually makes a woman HOT. So, here are just a few of the tricks of the trade that I will share with all my readers now.

1: Unless you actually have a body like the guy in the photo....just put the shirt back on. Even if you do have a body like the guy in the photo....don't flaunt it all the time. There is nothing like a tight muscle shirt to titillate the curiosity.

2:  It is best to remove the shirt when working in the back yard on a hot day, not while sitting on the couch drinking beer and watching the game, while at the same time expecting her to fetch you another cold one from the fridge. She is not a golden retriever. Acting like that will not get you any at the end of the day, or even during the game.

3:  Hygiene.  It pains me to actually have to include this one for my clueless brethren, but you really need to create change in your life, so have a shower.  That motor grease under your fingernails may be a turn on to you and your buddies, but it is definitely a turn off for her.

4: CLEAN SOMETHING.....UNASKED....yes, you read that correctly. Especially if it is a toilet or something equally disgusting. And you are not EVER to make a big deal of it. Just clean it. Don't worry. She'll notice. And are you ever gonna get lucky after that!

5: Learn how to barbecue without burning stuff. She loves seeing you cook over hot coals, especially when you just bought her a couple thousand dollars worth of stove and fridge. The reason behind this is that nothing tastes as good as it does when it comes off the barbecue. The fact that she did not have to cook it herself scores you HUGE points. Barbecue cooking brings out the primal in both of you and once you go primal......

6: Whenever you are cooking, be it on the barbecue or in the kitchen (yes, guys, that room over there where the beer is held in that frozen box thingy is called a "kitchen") CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF! There is nothing that turns her off as much as a guy who cooks a meal for her and expects her to do the cleanup.  Know that there is a double standard in play here. If she cooks for you, CLEAN UP AFTER HER. She will be so ultimately impressed with your giving nature that naturally she will be giving in return.

7:  Know when you can't fix it and call a plumber or electrician or whomever you need to do it right.  This humbleness makes her HOT!  Equally so will she be HOT if you stop to ask for directions, or even call CAA or AAA to get you out of the ditch instead of trying to do it yourself.

8: If you have kids, CHANGE SOME DIAPERS! Why should she always get all the crappy jobs?! If you come out of the bathroom with a baby in your arms, hand it over to her and say, "Clean as a whistle", well, let's just say that someone's whistle is gonna get some action later.

9: Never express it if you think that she is unable to lift something that you, from years of doing the brawny labor thing, know she should not attempt. Ask if you can help, and if the answer is "no" then let her decide on her own whether or not to reconsider. And if she does reconsider, be gracious about it. And remember, if it is a particularly warm day, first remove the shirt, then do the lifting!

10: Iron some clothes. Now I must admit that I don't iron her clothes because, well, I hate ironing women's clothes with all the pleats and ruffles and such. But I do iron my own and never ask her to do it for me. This is the 21st century after all. Oh, and remember that ironing clothes is a very warm business, so you need to wear less to do it.

11: Cuddling is a must. Even if you are not a cuddler, you have to learn to become one. Women love to cuddle. Women especially love to cuddle if there is no expectation that the cuddling will go anywhere else. That way she gets to do the initiating.

12: Don't be afraid to initiate. "Honey, how about if I take you out to dinner tonight" are 11 of the most welcomed words she will ever hear escape from your lips.

13: When you get up to refill your drink, always ask if you can refill hers as well.

14: Treat her friends and family as though they are as precious to you as they are to her. After all, they are the ones who will support her, whether she is with you or not. The happier they are with you, be happier she will be with you.

15: Always praise her to your friends and family. Let them all know how much she means to you. Never let any of them put her down, even if what they are saying is true. Politely let them know that what they say may be true, but that they have no right to say it. This creates healthy boundaries. If you have someone who continuously puts her down, dump them. This is a person who is trying to sabotage your relationship and is most likely jealous of it in the first place.

16: Always be willing to drive the kids to their events. The more invested you are in the family, the more invested she is in you.

17: Don't be afraid to drop her at the door of her destination. Door to door service makes her HOT!

18: Always tell her you love her when you are going out the door and when you arrive back, or when she is going out the door or arriving back.

19: Call her up in the middle of the work day to "check in". It shows her that you are thinking of her even when she is not right there with you.

20: Flowers. Not just roses. All kinds of flowers.

21: Candles. Unscented is fine, but lots of them.

22: If she asks you which pair of shoes she should purchase, the correct answer is, "Why do you have to choose?"

23: Go clothing shopping with her. She values your opinion. Learn what looks right fashion wise and put it to use. I will always let her know if an outfit is not that becoming on her. I will also always let her know, "WOW!" when an outfit looks stunning on her. Women appreciate the complete and heart felt honesty when it comes to how they appear. If you have no interest in her looks at all, then she knows you have no interest in her at all.

24: NEVER say she's fat. EVER!!!!! If she needs to actually lose weight to stay healthy, encourage her to be healthy, but never actually make it about weight.

25: Laugh out loud with her, and love out loud with her.....all the time.

So those ones should keep you all going for a little while. Remember that these are tried and true and that they can also work for you!

Blessed Be


1 comment:

Vanitha said...

WOW! How amazing to be a woman in your life!