Master Taisen Deshimaru said,"If you wish to attain the One, this is only possible within the 'not two'." We do need our individuality and our uniqueness in order to not get caught up in the crowd mentality. But we do also need to see everything and everyone around us as being at one with ourselves. This is like looking in a mirror. When we see ourselves in the mirror (less the criticism, condemnation and weight obsession) we see a beautiful soul looking back at us through our very own eyes. When we look at someone else, the same is possible, even with those whom we don't particularly like or get along with.
But to do that, we have to let go of a wee bit of our ego consciousness. The ego is a very important part of our psyche. It gives us the sense of self that is so needed in order to maintain our personal authenticity and dignity. But we can also be too egocentric. When we get like that we no longer see the connections that all others have with us, nor us with them. We become critical and judgemental and treat others as "less than" instead of equal to ourselves. We see others as "outside" of ourselves instead of interwoven with ourselves. The separation can be immense and the seclusion can be overwhelming. Then we get aggressive because our fears kick in big time.
All this can change simply by consciously reminding ourselves every day that we are a part of the One, the Whole, the Weave. And that as such we can connect, and need to connect with the rest of the Whole. If we don't it is like having a computer to surf the Internet but never really going on line, then wondering why we aren't even receiving our emails. Let go of the "two" and bring in the "One" consciousness. The whole system functions much better that way.