Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Easy to Love

Someone once said to me that it is "easy to say we love and harder to demonstrate it every day". I agree entirely. Sometimes we don't realize that we are not demonstrating love. Sometimes we take love for granted. I have been in loveless relationships and, let me tell you, it is hell. But when we allow ourselves to open our hearts to receive love, we also allow ourselves to open our hearts to express love.

One of the best ways of doing this that I have found is to be around children. I cannot ever remember a time that I have not shown affection to a child. I may have had a horrible day, but as soon as I see a child, mine or anyone else's, my heart opens up and I want to squish and kiss them. Children need affection and physical contact. I am not talking about sexual contact. I am talking about hugs and kisses and cuddles. My child walks buy and I want to hug her. Someone else's child walks buy and I have to stroke their hair. I guess I am a touchy feely person after all. This is in stark contrast to the non-affectionate family in which I grew up. Public displays of affection were frowned upon on a daily basis, except with my mother, but even then she was, shall I say, limited in how and when. I am glad that I am not like that. Kids know I love them. It doesn't matter what age or gender, they simply know because I am hugging them, kissing them, cuddling them. And they lap that up. Too many kids these days are starving for affection and physical contact. No wonder we end up with young adults who get into all sorts of scenarios that are unhealthy because of a lack of physical affection in their formative years and beyond! Those who have healthy loving relationships don't tend to get so screwed up! It is simple.

I sometimes find it insane that society has put limitations of affection in places like schools. Kids in day cares and kindergarten are scolded if they hug or kiss another child. WTF????!!!!! That is retarded! I have a perfect recipe for the creation of a sex addict.....STARVE THEM OF AFFECTION AS A CHILD! Nope, I am not a sex addict, so let's not go there. I am saying that it is human nature to want physical affection. When we starve a child of physical affection we create an extreme imbalance in later years and it usually comes out in some sexual addiction. The sexual addiction is different that a personal "kink", so to speak. The addiction will consume you. The kink will pleasure you.

So hug your kids, for the love of God! Show them you love them. Don't just say it, SHOW it. Don't worry about how old he or she is, just demonstrate your love and it will all be okay.

Blessed Be
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Kate said...

Very well put, Trent! I'm always kissing and hugging Sophie. Doesn't matter if it's in the grocery store or in a restaurant--wherever! It's just a natural expression of my love. I don't think I could stop if someone wanted me to!!! (Well, okay, I'm certain I'm not going to stop). = ). To those folks who stare at my smooching--you're just needing a little love yourself! You know--you get what you give, people! Anyway, great post!

Just call me Katrinka said...

Hear, hear.

Vanitha said...

My best friend's mother was an amazing school teacher for years, but knew it was time to retire when told not to hug her very needy elementary school students!
It may be many decades old now, but "All We Need Is Love" is still relevant!

Gail said...

In the immortal words of Don Cherry, the rock 'em sock 'em guru of the hockey world, and star of Coaches Corner, 'Ya gotta love 'em', just after he and his sidekick, Finnegan, have imparted yet another gem of hockey wisdom to all the kids who play the game. These little nuggets usually involve how not to get a penalty while executing some shove, poke, jab, trip or other move designed to take out the guy on the opposing team you're responsible to cover on the ice during your shift. If, after all attempts to stop the guy cold in his skates have failed, drop your gloves and start whalin' on his sorry butt.
Yes, SHOW children love and affection before they become - GASP - hockey players!!