Grieving

We all grieve in our own way. Some curl up into a fetus position and sob, others pour themselves into their work, others take time to contemplate life and its fragility. A good friend of mine died recently. I will miss him. But I have not shed a tear about his passing. He had a long struggle with cancer. I know he is no longer in pain and this makes me happy for him. I miss his voice and his humour and his laughter.

At his service, people were looking at me and some even approached me about why I was so even in my emotions. I don't like to be really public about my deepest feelings. I work them through way before such services so that I don't have to take facial tissue with me to the event. I don't like it when my face leaks. For me, that is a more private thing that I will experience in the safety of my own home. This is also what makes me really good at performing services as well. I allow others to do the emotional stuff and I stay on track with the program. Understand that it is not at all that I think any less of anyone who can openly cry at events such as this. It is just that it is not my personal cup of tea. I am also not saying that I won't or don't cry. I do. I just do it when it feels right, and doing it publicly has never felt right.

So now life goes on without my friend. That is okay. I was not able to see him much in the last number of months anyway. But I also said goodbye to him privately moments after his passing. So I am good with it all. I look forward to meeting him again in another life and seeing how far he has come since our last meeting. I think we will likely have a tea together and chat about lots of Universal things.

Blessed Be
Trent
http://www.youtube.com/trentdeerhorn
www.deerhornshamanic.com

Got my eye on you, baby!

That is what one of my Spirit Guides said to me today. I was doing energy healing work at a health fair at a college in town when it happened. There was a young guy who was having issues of stress and anxiety and I was talking with him about it while streaming energy into his system. The conversation turned to a moment of grief in his past. As this unfolded, the blockage of the energy in his heart chakra also released and fresh energy was able to then get in.

At that point, the Spirit Guide (a cat/human image) showed up and said to me, "I got my eye on you, baby!" I knew that he was quite proud of what I had done to assist this young fellow. But he was also saying that I needed to apply some of my knowledge, wisdom and expertise toward myself in order to move the healing of the passing of my sister along.

The other day I picked up a birthday card for another sister and it hit me that I had always picked up two, because the sister that had just died had a birthday within 2 weeks of the one for whom I was currently getting a card. Ouch.

It is little rituals like this that bring home the loss for a person when a loved one dies. That is why events such as Christmas and Thanksgiving tend to be emotionally charged for people after a death in the family. So part of the healing that I will be doing is that on her birthday I will be lighting a candle for her and asking her spirit to make a wish for itself on her healing journey on the other side. This will be something I may do once, or it may be something that I do each year for a while. That all depends upon what I sense I need to do. And I have the help of my Spirit Guide to assist me in that process.

Blessed Be

Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

Moments of Grace

"Within the sorrow, there is grace. When we come close to those things that break us down, we touch those things that also break us open." Wayne Muller.

At this time of year (Christmas) I always think about those who have lost loved ones. That is the most difficult part of the season. Not the shopping or the traffic or anything else that is just an annoyance. It is the deep sorrow of not having a loved one with us because they no longer walk this earth. It doesn't really matter how they left us. We know that they are in a better place, yes, as though that is any consolation for them not being here. What we miss is their hugs and their laughter and their quirks that make us laugh or shake our heads. This is a Spirit Energy Portrait of my grandmother, who died when I was quite young. You can see her profile (she is looking to the left) if you look closely enough.

What I often do to get through this myself, having lost a lot of family members over the last few years, is I light a candle and dedicate it to them. Unfortunately, I have a whole bank of tealights now. Although the circumstances may be difficult, it is also quite beautiful to have each person represented with light. After all, they have been embraced into the Light. This is just a small ritual. It is one that brings comfort to all those who are still here.

Many Warm Blessings

Trent

www.deerhornshamanic.com

Gracefully Crossing the Veil

A few years ago, my oldest sister died. She had gone into the hospital with heart problems, was given an immediate 5 bypass surgery, and then was told, "Oh, and by the way, you have lung cancer." Now, this came on the tail end of my mother dying with bowel cancer, my father dying of leukemia, and my mother-in-law dying of cancer as well. So needless to say, I was not the happiest camper on the block when this news came down.

The following few months were spent helping her to both heal and transition. Healing doesn't always mean curing the disease. Sometimes the healing is something that goes much deeper than the disease itself. In the healing work that we did, I was able to help her to come to peace, somewhat, with a much deteriorated relationship that she had with our parents.

The morning that she died, she came to visit me as I was going through my morning routine. One minute I am brushing my teeth and the next she is standing there in the bathroom telling me that she has left her body. Immediately after this, her husband phoned to let me know that she had passed on. When she visited me she asked me to perform the last rites. So I went to the hospital and did so. That was one of the hardest things that I had ever had to do. But as I did this, I found it comforting that her soul energies evacuated from her body and went into the light, right there before my eyes. It was beautiful and extremely sad all at the same time. I broke down and sobbed and could barely finish the last rites. But finish I did and then went into my own personal grief and crisis about the fact that my sister was gone.

Since then, there has been more healing for her while in the Light. Her relationship with our parents has greatly improved and the turmoil that she had felt for so many years is now gone. She comes to talk with me often, and I always take the time to listen. After all, while I was growing up, she always took the time to listen to me as well.

Blessed Be

Trent