Sunday, October 3, 2010
We all grieve in our own way. Some curl up into a fetus position and sob, others pour themselves into their work, others take time to contemplate life and its fragility. A good friend of mine died recently. I will miss him. But I have not shed a tear about his passing. He had a long struggle with cancer. I know he is no longer in pain and this makes me happy for him. I miss his voice and his humour and his laughter.
At his service, people were looking at me and some even approached me about why I was so even in my emotions. I don't like to be really public about my deepest feelings. I work them through way before such services so that I don't have to take facial tissue with me to the event. I don't like it when my face leaks. For me, that is a more private thing that I will experience in the safety of my own home. This is also what makes me really good at performing services as well. I allow others to do the emotional stuff and I stay on track with the program. Understand that it is not at all that I think any less of anyone who can openly cry at events such as this. It is just that it is not my personal cup of tea. I am also not saying that I won't or don't cry. I do. I just do it when it feels right, and doing it publicly has never felt right.
So now life goes on without my friend. That is okay. I was not able to see him much in the last number of months anyway. But I also said goodbye to him privately moments after his passing. So I am good with it all. I look forward to meeting him again in another life and seeing how far he has come since our last meeting. I think we will likely have a tea together and chat about lots of Universal things.