I have never been one to go with the standard in anything. Even though I am a regular guy in many respects, there are also times when I am not that usual at all. For example, the other day my daughters and I got drenched at the zoo as the skies opened up and dumped buckets of rain and light hail upon us. By the time we got to cover, we were literally soaked to the skin. This is when I realized that I need an umbrella to be able to walk to and from work without having a repeat of said event.
So, after a long search (it seems there was a wave of umbrella sales in the city) I finally found a store with some umbrellas. The thing is, for the first 5 minutes of hunting through their bin, all I could find was pink, light pink, and deep pink, with the occasional yellow thrown in with pink flowers or birds. Now, when did the general rule become established that umbrellas were only a feminine accessory???? I wanted black. A nice masculine color for an umbrella. What I finally found at the very bottom of the bin was a cobalt blue. That would do.
So yesterday I am walking home from work and people are looking at me like they are thinking, "Dude! Guys don't carry umbrellas!" I don't care. You see, what most folks don't realize is, for those of us with just enough testosterone in our systems to cause us to go bald (sorry, p.c. term for this is actually "follicularly challenged") the rain actually hurts when it hits the scalp with any force whatsoever. After five minutes of a "gentle" rain, a bald guy can have a migraine headache because it feels like having needles the weight of small bricks pounding on the head.
So if any of you out there should happen to see me or any other guy with an umbrella walking the streets of the city, give a honk or a shout of encouragement. And please write the umbrella manufacturers and demand more masculine colors in their dye lots. It would do me, and my brothers, a great service!