Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Bending Over Backwards
It is important to remain flexible. This helps us to deal with all of life's transitions, of which there is usually an abundance. If we are unable to be flexible, we end up becoming broken. Sometimes, however, it is important to know that we need not bend over backwards in order to please someone else's requirements.
I have often had to let people know that their personal needs are not my personal emergency. They don't get that the first time, usually. But over time they realize that if there is something that definitely requires my attention, I am Johnny on the Spot! If it is something that they themselves can definitely take care of, then far be it from me to take that opportunity away from them. After all, how else are they going to learn to respond to their own needs if someone else is willing to fulfill them before they have a chance to do so themselves?
I would often say to my daughters that I would not tie their shoes for them when I knew that they knew how to. I don't do things for people that they can do for themselves. That would just enable their co-dependence. Instead, I will celebrate every time they accomplish something for themselves. So I would praise my daughters every time they tied their own shoes. I would do this even if they at first had asked me to do it. That way they got the message that they are capable, even in times when they at first think that they are not.
We could all use a cheerleader now and then.