Comfort levels are something that a lot of people struggle with. It is often difficult to have a comfort zone honoured when dealing with other people, be it at work or at home. We often need to create skills in declaring our personal space and boundaries in order to be able to function. Too often people end up just clamming up instead of utilizing their interpersonal skills.
The problem with clamming up is that it allows things to fester beneath the surface. Those things that fester end up creating deeper problems for ourselves. We end up having random physical symptoms surface up that annoy us and, over time, can destroy us when they go unattended. What we really need to do is to come out of our shells and say how we really feel. When we speak our truth we allow ourselves to let go of what is bothering us. We also need to speak our truths in kind and respectful ways, otherwise we end up creating more turbulent waters between ourselves and those around us. When we allow kindness and compassion to be expressed through us, even when we are speaking difficult truths, we create a flow of loving energy that honours others as well as ourselves and that flow heals the situation. As kindness and gentleness emerge from our beings we are able to melt the coldest of hearts. That melt down can be something that the other person feels, but it can also be something that we experience through the process. As our hearts melt we are strengthened because what is actually melting down is the level of anger and bitterness that has been carried by us, sometimes for years at a stretch.
Shells, like those of turtles, need to be put to proper use. They are meant to be a safe haven, a protection, and a home that walks with us wherever we journey. That is a state of being. It is a state of confidence that resides in our own hearts and allows others to become inspired to find their own confidence. As that ripple moves out through the world, the world heals, one person at a time.
Blessed Be
Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com
2 comments:
I ended up in an argument on Thursday with a woman at work. I've viewed her as a 'thorn in my side' for most of the 10 years I've worked with her. The argument took place in front of another person, who, thankfully, was kind and loving enough to point out to me how my behaviour and attitude contributed to the escalation of a conversation into an argument.
I thought about what he said. It wasn't long afterwards - perhaps 10 minutes - that I approached the woman I'd argued with and offered my sincerest apology, which she accepted. She'd been sitting at her desk close to tears after our nasty exchange until I went up to her and apologized for my crappy behaviour and attitude. She and I spent a few minutes talking about what had transpired; I felt the weight of the negative thoughts and feelings I'd carried with me about her lift. I'd been reprieved and it felt marvellous - such lightness of being - I'm sure the other woman felt the same way, too - I can't explain it any better than this because the language of the heart doesn't translate into English.
I later thanked the man who'd been unafraid to say to my face what I needed to hear.
I no longer view this woman as my enemy, but as a fellow traveller, making her way along her path as well as she can.
Her presence, which I've seen as all prickly and full of bile and a barrier on my path, has been difficult to deal with, yet necessary for my development.
I learned that I cannot avoid, go around, under, over or behind, a life lesson and think it's been dealt with and will never resurface. That's hogwash and pigheaded arrogance. As much as I want to place all blame squarely upon the shoulders of someone or something else when things go badly, I cannot. In order to continue to grow, the only way to deal with my obstacles is to face them squarely and do what needs doing. And, yes, listen for and heed that small voice in the stillness - my Guide, my Angel, my Protector, one or all of them - when they tell me, here's what you need to do.
Wow Gail! Congratulations to all three of you in the situation. You were all mature enough to face the problems head on and deal with them. The world would be so much better off if we all were honest with ourselves and each other instead of covering up. In the end it really is the easier path and you do feel lighter. Negative thoughts really do weigh us down.
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