Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Boxed In

Every once in a while we find that we have become a little imprisoned by someone else's viewpoint of who or what we are. This is always uncomfortable and never healthy. Too often, though, we succumb to the other person's view of us and then can go years with that as a weight upon our shoulders. Being an Air elemental, I do not at all enjoy being boxed in.

So you can imagine my disappointment when I discovered that someone whom I have thought of as a dear friend has a view of me that is untrue, or at the very least way out-dated, and is not hearing me when I am trying to tell her that this may have been true 15 or 20 years ago, but is no longer the case. The thing is that I think that she just does not want to hear me. In confining me in her wee little box of an idea, she thinks that she has some form of grasp on me or control over me. I think that it is because my personal power threatens her in some way. It is never easy to have our viewpoints of how things work in the world or in the universe challenged. As you know, I challenge dogma all the time, no matter where it may show up. So I must be an extreme challenge for her because I am relentless when it comes to boxing things in for the sake of ignorant comfortability. That is not to say that I am rude or aggressive about it, just relentless. Relentlessness can be accomplished in kind and gentle ways as well.

So now I am left with what to do with this sort of thing. If it were someone I did not care that much about, then the solution would be simple. Cut her loose. This is, however, someone for whom I care a great deal. So the solution will be a wee bit more difficult than that and will perhaps take much longer than I would hope. What complicates things is that she has a view of me that can actually be spun in a positive manner, but even though it can be it is still not truth. So I have decided that I will gradually allow the process to unfold and hopefully she will see that I am not in the box that she holds so dear to her heart. If she can handle that bit of information and process it, perhaps she will be able to adjust her point of view. If not, then she will have to move on and find someone else to box in, because I am a very patient person, but will lose patience if something goes on for too long a period of time. After a certain amount of unproductive lapses of time, it becomes obvious that allowing it to continue is simply enabling that person to do this to me. That will not be acceptable. So here is to hoping that she will one day actually hear me!

Blessed Be
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Katie May (or may not) said...

I forget where I heard or read this, but it seems sensible:
It doesn't matter what someone else thinks of you; it's what *you* think of *them* that is more important, where *you* are concerned.
Poorly paraphrased, but you get the gist....

Vanitha said...

Here, Here! Or perhaps I ought to say Hear, Hear!