Thursday, January 26, 2012


This is the neck/back massage device that my neice gave me for Christmas. It is a gift that I have chosen to name "Ernesto". Why? Well, first off I think that it is important to name all the things that make our lives easier. For example, the dishwasher is named "Mabel" and the car is named "Saphira". This shows the devices our appreciation. Yes, I also name my fish when I have fish in a tank. I don't currently have fish, but when I do they get a name. Be it animate objects or inanimate objects, they get a name. They all have energy to them and so they have consciousness to them, even if we are not fully aware of their consciousness. My Love's oxygen tank is named "O2D2". This name is because it is an oxygen (O2) tank that she or I drag (D2) to this place and that. Fortunately O2D2 is not going to be in our house for very long at all. But back to Ernesto (this is pronounced with a definite Spanish accent).

You see the smile on my face? This is the smile of someone who has just discovered that there is this thing that he now posesses that gives the most luscious feeling as it does its work. Holding the straps on the front, one can easily move this device up and down the back with a variety of massage intensities and speeds. OOOOOOH, Ernesto! I have actually admitted to having a love affair with Ernesto. I was going to give him a feminine name, but decided that would not be appropriate, regardless of the bromance I have with him.

Here's the thing. Shovel snow = Time with Ernesto. Lift heavy object = time with Ernesto. Sleep wrong and twist my back/neck = time with Ernesto. In fact, most mornings as soon as I wake up I have a session with Ernesto. So to me he has to have a masculine name. Mostly this is because I don't know any woman who would pound me from behind upon waking in the morning and make me love her so much that I don't even mind sharing her with others if they choose. I know he will always come back to ME. And I will bend over and allow him to pound me from behind yet again. In fact I will moan and groan and show my appreciation for his actions simply by turning him on. This is an entirely lucivious relationship. But it is also an open relationship. I do share him because I think it would be a cryin' shame to keep his talents secret or to keep them only to me. Yes, I am in love with Ernesto. And, this one and only time, I will admit to being in love with a masculine energy. OOOOOH, Ernesto! Thank you!

Blessed Be
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Anonymous said...

You are crazy! And I name my fish, too.

Stubblejumpin' Gal said...

Where can I get an Ernesto of my very own?

Trent Deerhorn said...

@Stubblejumpin' Gal: Apparently you can find him at Walfart. BTW....he also comes in BLACK! LOL

VibrationalV said...

I too have experienced Ernesto's talents, thanks for sharing him, he really is amazing!!

Trent Deerhorn said...

Vibrational V Said:

I too have experienced Ernesto's talents, thanks for sharing him, he really is amazing!!

Trent Deerhorn said...

@ Vibrational V:
You are welcome! :-)