Monday, April 28, 2008

Living Vicariously Through My Friends

A friend of mine just emailed me another quotation, again I don't know who the original creator of this saying is, but it goes like this, "Life is God's gift to you.....what you do with your life is your gift to God."

I am very happy that I have such friends. Not only do they send me such amazing quotations, but some of them actually also visit exotic places around the world and bring me back sand (I collect sand from around the world), shells (I collect those too), and stones (yup, you guessed it...another collection). They bring wonderful stories that I very much enjoy hearing and learning from. When one lives vicariously through one's friends, learning comes easily from their stories of wild and wonderful experiences.

That brings to mind the lady whose hair I was washing (when I worked in a salon.....yup, I used to do that too....a jack of many trades) telling me about her trip on an African safari through the jungles of the Congo. The group stopped on their hike for a rest. She sat down on a rock. Suddenly the tour guide's eyes became extremely big and he told her to very carefully stand up and then run as fast as she could toward him. She had chills run through her, thinking that there must be a tiger about to pounce or something. When she reached him in a nano-second, she turned around and saw that the "rock" upon which she had been sitting was actually a sleeping cobra! Too cool. Oh, yea, and ..... YIKES!!!!

I love stories like that. But I also find stories about how folks contribute to the lives of others to be very inspiring. Like the story that a friend told me about purchasing and making turkey dinner (no special occasion) for a single mom of 6 children who was renting from her. This inspires me. When people see the need and respond, they are contributing to the community and to humanity.

When one contributes and when one lives life FULLY one is utilizing God's gift of life and creating a gift for God. I have so many people ask me to tell them what their life's purpose is this time around. I always tell them that the purpose of life is to live life fully. This means to enjoy it and to contribute in some way. It is one thing to be a good person, but it is an entirely other thing to be a person who is good for something. We aren't contributing by hiding ourselves from others. We aren't contributing by diminishing ourselves or our abilities when we can just let them shine and ripple forth positive energies throughout the world. Spirit would not want us to diminish ourselves. What a waste that would be! So enjoy life and live it fully and contribute what you can when you can. It will bring you back wonderful things. But that isn't the point. The point is that whenever we contribute, we are able to plant positive seeds throughout the world. These seeds will grow and flourish forever. That is eternal life!

Blessed Be

Trent

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Helping Hands

As I write this, I am looking at a painting that my first born daughter did when she was 20 months old. It is a finger painting with numerous hand prints all in a swirl of rainbow colors. Her hands were so tiny then. She is 12 years old now. I remember sitting with her as she painted it. She was fascinated by the colors, and amazed at the feel of the paint on her hands. She would put a hand print on the paper, then look at her hand intently. When she was done, she was definitely DONE and wanted her hands cleaned up RIGHT NOW.

So I lent her a helping hand and cleaned her up. She has become one of the most helpful people I know. When bowling a number of years ago, she was very attentive to a 3 year old who wanted to take the bowling balls from the rack and hand it to each of the bowlers. My daughter made sure that, if she was going to be doing that, that she know how to do it properly so that her fingers wouldn't get slammed when the next bowling ball came through the chute. And every time the 3 year old handed her a ball my daughter smiled and thanked her very graciously.

I feel inspired by her in this. I enjoy helping others and always remember to have gratitude for those little acts of kindness that others show me. I think it is important in the balanced functioning of the world for us to lend helping hands and to be grateful to those who do the same for us. And the more grateful we are, the more help is provided. Thus, a prayer of gratitude is one of the most powerful prayers of all.

Blessed Be

Trent

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Coffee

I remember singing a song in choir competition when I was in about grade 2 or 3. The song went: C-O-F-F-E-E, coffee is not for me! And then a bunch of other stuff about how bad coffee is for you. I was so cute, according to my mom and sister. I will have to believe them, because they would never lie to me, right? RIGHT??

Now I look back on this and find it funny, considering that I am definitely a coffee drinker. It is not that I live on coffee. But I certainly don't think I can live well without it. I like to have one cup in the morning (sometimes 2 if I have had a rough night). That's it. None of this "must have my pot of jet fuel" stuff. With how energetic I am, jet fuel must be kept at a moderate level.

I find that coffee has some medicinal effects for me. Beyond keeping me alert and happy, it helps my digestive system. Too much, like too much of any good thing, can give me some liver problems. So I go about it very carefully. It is the only thing that I use on a daily basis (and some days I don't) that could possibly be considered "harmful" in any way. But because I use it in a gentle way, it doesn't have the negative effects that it might for the hardened addict.

Ever since I was a child I have enjoyed the smell of brewed coffee. When I was 13 I came downstairs one morning, poured myself a bowl of coffee, added cream and sugar, and dipped fresh baked bread into it. It was delicious!! My mother almost had a fit. Not because I was drinking (or in this case, eating) coffee, but because this is what her father, whom I had never met because he died before I was born, used to do every morning! Some things just get genetically imprinted, I'd say. And that kind of imprinting is just plain fun!

Blessed Be

Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

Friday, April 25, 2008

The Will of God

A new friend of mine emailed me last week. She enclosed in her email two beautiful quotations. I am not sure of the source to the quotations, but this one really stood out to me:

"The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you."

So often people are afraid to make a move in their lives. They think that the risk is that they will be left all alone in total devastation. I know that fear well. I have experienced it frequently in my life. In fact, just recently I have worked through that one yet again. And I have, each time, experienced the rediscovery of the simple truth that we are never given more than we can handle and that when we think that there is just one set of footprints in the sand, they are not our own, but God's as we are being carried.

Taking a risk is sometimes exactly the leap of faith we need to make. It will always turn out well, if we just give it a chance. That doesn't mean that we deny our fears. We need to acknowledge them and work through them. We need to be able to break down in tears and let ourselves sob out our fears and our sorrows. That way we do our healing. It is also important to breathe and to pray. That way we connect with Spirit and access Spirit's grace. And it is important to walk as well. As we walk, it is solved. The act of walking helps to ground us as well as bring us back to ourselves in times of crisis. Then all that healing we are doing sinks in and anchors into the cells of our bodies.

The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you. It was worth writing that one out a second time!

Blessed Be

Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Giving and Receiving

Lau-Tzu said,"If you would take, you must first give." This is a very basic law of the universe, yet one that eludes many. I remember being bullied in Junior High and then, later, taking up martial arts. My instructor, also an accomplished acupuncturist and practitioner of Chinese Medicine, asked me why I wanted to learn how to hurt and possibly kill. My response was that I no longer wanted to feel weak and vulnerable around those who would bully me about and possibly beat the bejeebers out of me as they had in the past. He said two things that really stuck. The first thing that he said was,"If you embark on a journey of revenge, you must remember to dig two graves." The second was, "before you can learn to kill, you must learn to heal."

Having been raised with pagan thought systems, the idea of giving before receiving was something that I understood. I was told by my grandmother to always send prayers of gratitude before I received what I desired. Thus, the Goddess would understand that I already have within me that which I desire, and would then respond by bringing more of the same to me. But when it was put into the context of learning to heal before learning how to kill, it quite frankly floored me. Suddenly it all made sense. Had the bullies in my life learned how to heal before they learned how to torment and possibly kill, they would not have even embarked upon the path of bullying! Thus began my training in martial arts. Yes, I had a natural talent because I learned as a young person how to "street fight" and that made me exceptionally resourceful. But my interest soon became an obsession with the healing aspect. I learned many methods and avenues of helping people to heal. Energetically, there is so much that can be influenced in the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual bodies that the results are often profound. At the same time, you cannot learn how to simulate, say, the liver meridian without also learning how to hinder it, causing great pain and illness. Knowledge is the accumulation of information. Wisdom is the appropriate usage thereof.

So I learned how to protect myself. But what was most important was that I learned how to heal myself. I was able to let go of all those aspects of my personal history that no longer served my well-being and embrace aspects that do. I became an energetic adaptogen and in doing so I opened myself to becoming a shaman. That was a title that I resisted for years. It is one that I now wear with great honor. In an age when there are a lot of popcorn elders and shamans emerging from the woodwork, it is important to know that there are some, like myself, who work with honor and integrity. Those who are like myself I embrace with great love and appreciation. Those who are not don't last long enough to worry about.

Blessed Be

Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Dragons in the Mist

Actually, it was not so much a mist about a week ago or so. It was more like a fog. I mean…a FOG. The city was blanketed for hours with this amazing formation of deep fog, the kind of which I have only ever seen by the ocean.

As I was getting ready for bed, after a very long day’s work, I noticed something move just beyond the balcony. I looked out and the only thing I could say was “Wow!” My partner was asking, “Wow, what?” and all I could do was repeat, “Wow!”

What I was seeing was a dance of many dragons through the fog. I know that all this sounds a bit far fetched, even for a shaman. But I have worked with dragon energies for a long time now. This was the first time that they have shown up uninvited. I was filled with awe and the feeling of truly being blessed. When the elements come in as strongly as the fog did that night, I feel an increased awareness that something is shifting. It is usually a something that involved a shift in consciousness. It is amazing how dragons, in particular, have an ability to shift one’s consciousness. First off, they completely challenge our paradigms of reality. We have been taught for a few centuries now that dragons not only do not exist, but that they never have existed. This is a lie. The dragons told me that they went into hiding when humans betrayed them. Now they exist mostly on the ethereal planes. They can, however, also cross the veils and come into the physical planes. They have done so when I have invited them, once they knew they could trust me. And they obviously do so when they choose to themselves, otherwise they would not have been there in the first place.

When I later asked them what they were doing, they said that they were playing. They don’t often have an opportunity to do so because the clear skies mean that they can be detected very easily. So one of the ancient grandfathers amongst them, knowing that the grandchildren needed to get out into the physical world and just play, summoned the fog so that they would have the freedom to do so. They also told me that there were others who noticed them. Some of the others were those whom they have worked with before. Others, whom they have never met, caught their first glimpse of dragons that night. Their consciousness was then raised and they can hopefully now become dragon helpers as well. I invite all who are interested and who were able to see them to let go of the fear and start connecting. There is nothing scary about them at all, once we let go of our own fears.

Blessed Be
Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

Friday, April 18, 2008

Making Peace

“Since wars begin in the minds of men, it is in the minds of men that defences of peace must be constructed.” Ananda W.P. Guruge

It is amazing what people can stir up in the deep, dark cauldrons of their minds. When we allow our egos to run rampant, we will construct the most hurtful thoughts, fears and insecurities, and then project them onto those around us. We seem, as human beings, to constantly be in a struggle to maintain control of our environments and those who are in them. And anything that does not fit in with our personal constructs of reality must be wrong and even evil because it threatens our personal views.

I believe that it is this dynamic that has led to wars, crusades, and mass genocides.

When we come to realize that, although all people are similar, we are also different, and that although we are all individual, we are all the same on a basic level, it takes away the fear. Without the fear, there becomes no struggle for control. With no struggle for control, peace is able to begin. It starts within us and then ripples out around us as we loosen the strangle holds we think we should have on others’ thoughts and beliefs.

Then all can become radiant and powerful. And this is not a power over others. It is a power within the self that aligns us with the Self, the higher consciousness. When this happens we become more divine than we have ever imagined ourselves to be.

Blessed Be
Trent

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Wildlife will find you!

Today, April 15th, 2008, I was sitting out on my high rise balcony, eating my lunch with the cat wandering around at my feet. Suddenly there was a flourish of activity as the cat b-lined it back into the apartment and a huge Red Hawk landed on the railing of the balcony. I was amazed at the beauty and majesty of this exquisite creature, as well as very happy that the cat went back inside.

I sat there for the longest time, talking with my new friend. She was telling me about the abundant hunting grounds that she was finding this spring. Apparently there is an increase in mouse and gopher populations and she is enjoying it. There are also some snakes emerging by the river and she is appreciating that as well.

After a while, she turned herself around, facing out across the river. I was just about to ask her to kindly not make any messes on my balcony floor when she spread her beautiful wings and took off. She flew out and across to the other side of the river and then swooped down into some trees.

It seems that, no matter where I have lived, my connection to wildlife has followed me. I thought this to be quite normal, being a shaman and all. I have had all sorts of birds, coyotes, and even a very lost cougar find their way to where I have lived in the city. But when I moved into this apartment, I was sure that this would be an aspect of my life that was put on hold for a while. Little did I expect that the wild life would find me, even here. I should have known that at least the bird population would find me, considering that we are about 20 stories up. But we don’t get any pigeons or anything, so I was sure that we would not get much of anything else. I stand delightfully corrected.

Blessed
Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

Four Bones

There is a Sotho Proverb that goes, “The body may be broken, as a cairn of stone is scattered; but the spirit is there all the time.”

The ancients used to use the bones of animals and people, long after they had died, to divine the future. They would scatter them and read the pattern. If a person was initiated properly and knew how to “listen” to the bones, the spirits of the animals or people (ancestors) would speak to them of the things to come, but also of the things of the distant past. Thus all that is known in the past, present and future would be revealed.

Some would also use sticks from the “standing people”; the trees and shrubs, whose medicine would be carried through their “bones” and instruct and guide the seer. Others would use stones, the “bones” of the earth. Some stones would have markings on them, much like the runes. The markings on stones crossed over as well to markings placed on sticks and bones. Each marking would be a sacred symbol of a particular energy, or spirit. Sometimes they would indicate a particular God or Goddess; sometimes they would symbolize a way of being, or a consciousness. As one would read the symbols on the sticks, bones or stones, the messages of spirit, the guidance of the ancestors, the love of Deity would be expressed.

But in order to be able to listen to the bones, one would have to become a Hollow Bone. Medicine Wheel teachings tell us that there are four major bones to the human condition, and these bones are not necessarily the kind that you will find on an X-ray. There is the Wish Bone; the bone that helps us to understand that we are co-creators with Spirit, and that, through our intent, we can create any reality we desire. The second is the Funny Bone. This bone is not located on the tip of the elbow. This is the bone that helps us to keep the humor going. The word “humor” comes from the core word “humus”, which means “of the earth”. Humor keeps us grounded and connected to Spirit and to others around us. The Third is the Strong Bone. This is often thought of as the spine, as the spine holds us up and conducts messages between the brain and the body. But it is also the metaphoric spine. When we grow that metaphoric spine we grow courage and strength to stand up to injustice and to champion ourselves and others around us who might need to be championed until such time as they can champion themselves. And then there is the Hollow Bone. This bone is a state of consciousness whereby we become clear conduits through which Spirits healing energies can flow. We are able to connect with the essence of who we truly are and help others to do the same. As we become clear, clean, pure hollow bones, we are able to channel Spirit, through energy, through divination, through our loving hearts, thus rippling forth positive change on a deep soul level.

The four bones are the most important learning that we can undertake in a lifetime. Without them we only accumulate karma that holds us back. But with the four bones working together, we are able to stay on our sacred path and not get lost on our earth walk this time around.

Blessed Be
Trent

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Hit and Miss

My daughters were at their horse riding lesson today. Apparently one of them had a difficult time getting her horse to do what she needed it to do. As a result, she did not have as much fun as usual and felt it was a waste to have gone. As she was showering off in the bathroom I was talking to her. This is something that is easier when she is riled up than if she is not in water. She is very much a water elemental. So the soothing water and the sound of my calm voice tends to bring her back into a happy place inside. By the time our conversation was done she was smiling (something that I could only tell by the sound of her voice, seeing as how the shower curtain was dividing us from each other) and looking forward to having supper together.

Sometimes people don’t listen to their inner needs. Yes, she had to have a shower after horse riding lessons anyway, but she also knows that when she is upset she likes to get in the tub or shower and wash all the upset away. As adults, we can learn a lot from that. For myself, it is going outside and feeling the breeze blow over me. It feels like all the upset energies just blow right off of me. And now that I am living in the city, I appreciate the fact that my apartment is high enough that I not only get the breeze, but I am also able to have an expansive view of the east bank of the river. That expansiveness helps me to collect myself and see things from a broader and higher perspective.

I think that I have always been that way. As a child, I would go out into nature and find a high spot in a tree. My other daughter, also an air elemental like me, does the same thing. It is amazing how we are naturally drawn to what our basic elemental needs are. It is sad that we so often get forced out of that inner honor system by those outside of ourselves who think we are only wasting our time, or their time. I have often said that one can’t confuse inactivity with laziness, or activity with productivity. My father used to get frustrated when I would meditate. He saw that as sitting around and doing nothing. Yet it was one of his friends who taught me how to meditate. The benefits of this simple practice of non-activity escaped him, I suppose. Being on a farm, anything that appeared to be non-active was seen as lazy. I really did not personally enjoy being worked like a horse, so I would get my work done as fast as possible so that I could then go on to do other things, like play or meditate. The trick with meditation was to do it up in a tree where I wasn’t noticed. Now that my own children are honoring their elemental needs, I appreciate the fact that I did not adopt my father’s version of what is productive and what is not. This way my daughters actually might have a chance to develop their inner selves with ease and with grace. Every day I look forward to seeing who they are gradually developing into. I soak up the moment and look forward to the incredible changes that I see. They truly are the most precious beings in my world.

Blessed Be

Trent

Juggling

Let’s face it. We have all had moments where we wish to the powers that be that we had actually taken that silly non credit course in university that was called, “Juggling for Dummies”. We were too shy. And we did not want to admit that we might need such a course. But when I compare the possibilities of that course with those of, say, a first year psychology course, the juggling schtick might have been the way to go!

Life is full of compromises and demands. We have become a society of runners. So much time is spent running from one place to the other that we very rarely actually have the time to enjoy any of the journey. But it is the journey that is the most important part of it all. I refuse to install one of those DVD players in my vehicle for the kids because when we go on road trips I would actually like them to look out the window and see what all there is to see. Landscapes, wildlife, farm animals…it all amounts to conversation starters and lots of interesting stuff to observe.

This is also why my kids are not enrolled in 15 different activities through the week. Yes, sometimes the week does get full, but that is by choice. I am not one of those parents who will spend my time frantically battling the traffic flow to get two different kids in two different directions through the city for two different activities. Nope. That is not how my time will be spent on this earth. Sound harsh? It really isn’t. I think that they much prefer to spend time talking and playing with me that they do listening to me gripe at moronic drivers as we rush from location to location.

Sometimes the juggling act is essential. If we decide on what is actually important to us, however, we will find that it is unnecessary. When you do need to know how to juggle, it is good to have had a class in that. Otherwise we are left with having to learn how to pick up all the cascading balls, fire wands, swords etc. What is actually healthier is to not put ourselves in the position of having to juggle in the first place. Honoring our needs and our limitations is essential to our well being. If we don’t honor them, our bodies hurt and give us all kinds of signals of disharmony. This leads us into states of illness. If we pay attention to these signals and make the necessary adjustments, we prevent ourselves from getting ill in the first place.

Blessed Be

Trent

Saturday, April 5, 2008

The Art Of Breathing

“Human life is the concentration of breath; when it is concentrated, there is life, when it is dispersed, there is death.” Chuang-tzu

Many years ago, I was introduced to the art of Zen meditation, or zazen, as it is called. I found this to be an incredible tool for my journey in life. Having been completely stressed out by the time it was introduced to me, I was immediately aware of the benefits of this practice as I became progressively more serene.

As time went on, though, I began to fall out of my practice of zazen. By the time I entered university, I was only practicing once a week. With the hectic schedules that university brings, I completely abandoned the practice and dedicated my time more to study, partying, and cruising for girls. Although I am exceptional, I am also a male! By the fourth year, I was toast. Gradually I introduced a variety of styles of meditation into a regime that was working for me. And then I found that my life took a quantum leap forward, as life tends to do. As a result, even that regime was abandoned.

About two years ago, I found a lovely book called Zen Mind: Beginner’s Mind by Shunryu Suzuki. This little gem of a book has reminded me of the importance of breath. I have reinstated my zazen practice on a daily basis and I don’t think I will ever be letting it go again.

I find it amazing how often in life we hold our breath instead of allowing it to flow. As we allow the breath to move deeply through us, we become more peaceful and happy, more centered and grounded, more stable and secure in our lives. This brings us to a way of existing with our world in a more harmonious fashion. Even while I am writing this, my breath is slowing and allowing the energy to flow through my body, mind and spirit. It is not something that is strictly done in a lotus position, although this is what is suggested. There is a reason for this position, but I have also found that, after numerous car accidents and a bad throw from a horse, my body will not go into the lotus anymore. I don’t even want to force it to try. If one day it unfolds from within me again, so be it. Until then, a half lotus will have to do and I will be able to still breathe in whatever pose, sitting or standing, I happen to be in.

I highly recommend that everyone introduce themselves to the art of zazen. The best part of it is that you don’t have to buy any tools, you don’t have to attend any special classes in an already busy day, you don’t even have to stop what it is you are doing. You simply need to turn your attention to your breath and allow it to flow through you. The breath is something that we were created with to allow us to live. Let’s not stop living by making ourselves stop breathing.

Blessed Be

Trent

Friday, April 4, 2008

Seekers

“Do not search for truth, just do not have any prejudices.” Master Taisen Deshimaru.

So often I encounter people who claim to be spiritual seekers, and some of them are truly embarking on a journey of self-discovery. There are also some (too many) who only equate seeking with reading books. These ones, I have learned, think that they know everything there is to know about spiritual connection but have never actually put it into practice. I almost want to use the term “book learned blockheads”, but I know that this is not entirely their fault. They have been raised in a culture where knowledge is equated with wisdom, and knowledge is supposed to be academically based. They are a product of their environment. So I write this not to bash them in any way, but to compassionately educate them in print, so that they may also come to understand a few things.

First off, knowledge is not wisdom. Knowledge is the gathering of information. Wisdom is the appropriate practical usage thereof. Just because we know how to split an atom does not mean that we must create an atomic bomb. This is wisdom.

Secondly, if we have knowledge and do not put in into practical use, that knowledge is lost and can never be applied to experience in life, therefore does not develop into wisdom at all. We can read all there is about how to build a sweat lodge, but until we do the task and then experience the sweat ceremony, we have no wisdom from the experience. We only are left with a technical manual for how to build a sweat lodge. This alone leaves us empty.

Thirdly, when we seek we must do so in a passive and receptive way. We can’t take something we have gleaned knowledge on and then lord it over all other information we gather, using it as a tool through which to determine what is “correct” and what is “wrong”. There are many ways and many paths up the same sacred mountain. To think that ours is the only way is to hold prejudice against others’ ways. Yet their way may be exactly what works for them to get them up that same mountain. Who are we to judge? All we can really do is allow the process to be what it is for us, and to be what it is for them. The truth of the matter is that there is a sacred mountain and, being a mountain, it has many paths. If it were only one-sided it would not be a mountain; it would be an illusion; nothing more than a cardboard cut out. So when we allow ourselves to be open and receptive, we make vast discoveries on a spiritual level and on all others levels as well. We don’t have to search for truth; we simply need to be open to it unfolding from within our consciousness. It cannot do that if we are going to laugh in its face as being something silly just because it is different from what we have discovered to date.

Perhaps a better term than “seeker” might be “explorer”. That way we would have not such a predatory aspect to the gathering of information, and would instead have a receptive spirit of discovery. When we allow ourselves to explore, we allow ourselves to be open to a vast universe of possibilities.

Blessed Be

Trent Deerhorn

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Life is too short to not pay attention!

“To die without being forgotten is to be eternal.” Lao-tzu. This from a person who’s philosophy has lasted thousands of years! Talk about being eternal! I enjoy this statement because we often get caught up in some of the silliest things in our lives and forget what is really important. The other day a young woman got off a city bus and walked right out in front of me as I was driving down the street. She was on her cell phone, not paying attention at all to what she was doing. Brakes on a vehicle are a great thing, when you have enough notice to use them. She was very fortunate that day. But I gave her a little toot with the horn to wake her up so that she didn’t kill herself, and she simply gave a glare and continued talking as she walked across the street while continuing this “very important phone call”.

I don’t know if the call was personal or professional, but it was certainly not worth risking her life. And I began to wonder how she would be remembered? Being very young, she may not have had time yet to do something big that the world could remember her for. But on a personal level, I am sure that someone would remember her fondly for something. Did she not care about that?

Ever since I became a father I have become aware of the fragility of life. It is a precious gift and one that can get ended and altered way too quickly for our human souls to deal with. I would not want to be the father who just found out that his daughter was just killed as she jay walked across a street. I would not want to be the brother, the mother, the sister, the lover of anyone who had this happen. Yet this sort of thing does happen when we don’t pay attention to what is going on around us.

Once becoming a father I also noticed that my own self-worth grew exponentially. Where people would be able to walk all over me before, I found myself saying things like, “You have no right to treat the father of my children that way.” I know it stemmed from a protective aspect of fatherhood, more than a protective instinct for myself. But at least it was a start. It made me begin to pay attention to what is going on around me so that I can be safe and know that at the end of the day, I am still here for my children.

So when I die I would like to be remembered. I would like people to remember me as a man with a huge heart. I would like to be the guy who stayed true to himself, even if it was against what society thought to be acceptable. I would like to be the guy who loved more deeply than anyone thought possible. I would like people to remember me as the man who voiced and acted with compassion. I don’t want to be worshipped. I don’t want people to blather on about how wonderful I was if I really wasn’t. We’ve all been to a funeral or two like that and looked around, wondering if we were at the right event. I just want to not be forgotten by those close to me and by those whose lives I have had a positive effect upon.

Don’t worry. I am not planning on exiting stage left any time soon. I am just aware that we never know when that truck comes around the corner just as we step off the curb.

Blessed Be

Trent
www.deerhornshamanic.com

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

George Michael

I was driving home the other day, going around and around the parkade to my parking spot on the 11th level, and having a little talk with Spirit as I did. After all, what else does one do but talk to Spirit when one is going in circles? I was in the process of telling Spirit that I was taking a HUGE leap in my life and that I was following It’s directive from the office of “They” and that I needed to know that it was all going to be okay. I needed to know that my kids were going to be okay and that my wife was going to be okay and that my new partner was going to be okay… just let me know it will all work out! Then, just as I was backing into my parking spot, on the radio came George Michael’s song “Faith”…you gotta have it!

So I had an Eli Stone moment. And I remembered when a friend of mine once said that sometimes in life you need to back into situations instead of going in full force forward. Here I was backing into my parking spot when this message came to me with such divine synchronicity. So I am learning a lot more about faith. I used to associate it only with the stuff of religion. Now I am going through deeper lessons than I have before about how we need to have faith in ourselves and in Spirit. We need to understand that we are taken care of, no matter what. This brings great comfort to me and that comfort then gets spread about to everyone I love.

Blessed Be

Trent