Monday, December 12, 2011
A BLAST from the Past!
Can you guess who this is? Look closely...check out the hair and the eyes and the smile....there you go. It's ME! I recently came into possession of my convocation photos from waaaaay back. I hung them on the wall in the hallway and so far everyone who has seen them has asked, "Who is this?" And when they are told who this is, they say stuff like, "Shut the front door!"
What this reminds me of is how much, thank heavens, we CHANGE. I look at this photo and I know the guy back then, but that is not at all who I am today. Back then I was stressed to the max with finals and essays and a first marriage that had just ended and left me with $5 in my bank account just days before my rent was due. Yes, I learned a LOT about keeping my own accounts and not just flooding everything into a joint account. Hard life lessons are the most well-learned ones, indeed.
I also learned that no matter what life throws my way, I will come out on top. All the events of that time in my life that were indications that "something was trying to hold me back" could not stop me. I was driven to succeed and walk away with a degree under my belt. And so that is what I did. And yes, there were people who helped me during this time. My parents kicked in with a couple month's rent so that I could get settled again, a friend of mine took me out for workouts and coffee three times a week so that he could help me get all the frustration out of my system and talk it out afterwards, and another friend invited me to her lakeside cabin for a weekend where we roasted hot dogs and canoed around the lakes. For all of these things I am quite grateful. Without them, I don't know that the journey would have been as smooth as it was, given the rough waters I was crossing.
But still, I look at this photo and, along with the pride I feel about that particular accomplishment, I see, behind the smile, someone who's life was falling apart...so that, much later, it could find its way back together again in a new and amazing way. Sometimes things have to come crashing down around our ears for us to be able to "get our acts together" and make the changes we need to make. I am glad that these things all happened in my life. Without that experience, I would not be able to be who I have become.