Friday, April 17, 2009
For a Plant to Grow
For a plant to grow it must be deeply rooted, have the right amount of sun and water, and experience loving care. People are like plants. This beautiful Lilly is one that grew in the garden of a dear friend of mine. She was kind enough to email me a photo or two to utilize in my blogs. Today, this one caught my attention.
As people, we need deep roots. We need our family ties to help us to establish what is important in our lives. Sometimes this is because what is important is not what our family's expectations of us are. But often it is the deeply rooted love that is important and sustains us. This is what will often get us through the tough times. Family, however, does not always mean our family of origin. Sometimes, in fact more often than not, it means the tribe that we belong to, some of which are related through blood, and some of which are related through love.
We all have sunny and rainy times in our lives. That is what life is about. In an earlier blog I mentioned a quote that said that it is not the absence of rain that makes our lives complete, but the ability to learn to dance in it. At the same time, if all we experience is the sun, we get parched and burned. We need both experiences to be whole.
And we also need loving care. From the time we are born to the time we die, no matter how much of a span there is between these two events, we need to be held. We need the physical touch and we need to be able to experience the love that transfers from one to the other through that touch. This is why so many NICU babies survive. The parents and family members and staff touch them. At my mother's death bed there was a lot of time spent just holding her hand. This was not to hold onto her and keep her with us. This was to give her comfort while she completed her journey to the Otherworld. And then the cycle was complete. Shortly after she died, my youngest daughter was born, and the cycle was, once again, begun. I am still holding her whenever I can. After all, they grow up way to fast and there will soon be a time when she may not want me to hug or hold her. When that time comes, the rain will begin again, but I will learn to dance in it in celebration of her independence.