Friday, February 27, 2009
Your Best Friend...
Always looking out for you. Always supporting you. Always there for you. These are qualities of a best friend. Sometimes best friends squabble. Sometimes they argue and fight. But they always make up and get back on track with each other. Best friends don't always have to agree.
I have often said that I know a person is truly my friend if they are willing to give me a kick in the butt when they see me screwing up. That is the type of friend I need on my side. Someone who is honourable and strong enough to not be afraid of losing it all if they confront me on poor behaviour. I don't want to have a friend who is a wimp. That is the sort of person who will chicken out and not have your back when you need them. I remember the first time I experienced that. I was about 9 years old and was being bullied. My best friend, or so I thought, watched and didn't stick up for me. In fact, he laughed along with the bullies. When all was said and done, he expected us to continue to be friends. I told him to get lost. We have never been friends since. The last I saw him was at my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. It was brief, the chit chat of people being polite in public, but certainly not anything meaningful. Near the end of our "conversation" he asked me why we drifted apart. I told him. He said I sure knew how to hold a grudge. I told him to get lost....again. It was grade 3 all over again, but only for the briefest of moments. Sometimes we catch on really quickly when a person is a friend and when they are not. I guess at age 9 I was quite astute. This is a good thing because, after all, the world needs more stutes!
Sometimes my friends don't know what to do with me when I challenge them on their behaviour. They think I am trying to pick a fight. I assure them that this is not the case and that I will always be there for them and help them through anything at all, but that in order for us to be friends we must be honest with each other and right now I am honestly telling them that they are screwing up. Most often they look at me with shock, not ever having had a friend who would be willing to go out on a limb like that. Then it sinks in. We then become much better friends. This type of interaction now and then helps to enrich relationships. I am fortunate that I have very high quality friends in my life these days. I treasure each and every one of them.