Peeking

When I was a kid, I used to do a lot of peeking around corners. I was extremely shy and wanted to know when the coast was clear for me to proceed to my destination. It was a way to keep me safe and my privacy intact. I liked it. Sometimes someone would catch a glimpse of me and invite me to join them. This was okay so long as I liked that person. If I did not like them, then I would disappear around the corner and by the time they would reach the corner to find me I was long gone.

My father liked to utilize this game of mine. He would ask me to discretely observe people who would come over. It may have been a neighbour, a friend or even a business acquaintance. When I was little I thought it was a cool game. Then I realized that afterwards he would always question/grill me on my observations. It wasn't very long before I would not play the game anymore because I knew he was trying to get me to utilize my other senses as well. Observation is one thing, psychically spying on another is something else entirely. As a young boy I got that. Why, as an adult, he did not is beyond me. From then on I was extremely cautious about utilizing any of my abilities for his benefit. He was angry about that, but could do nothing to change it.
Many years later, when he was on his death bed, he wanted me to heal him. He was already with one foot out the door and had been long gone from me emotionally anyway, so I did a bit of energy healing to help him be comfortable, but explained to him that I was not going to attempt to save his life. That was going to be between him and whatever Deity he was into. He got hostile angry so I left. The next I saw him was in his casket a few days later. At least he hopefully found some peace.

People have asked me, when I have shared this story, if I ever feel guilt about not trying to save him? The answer is no, I do not and will never feel guilt about that when there are so many more constructive things upon which to apply guilt. I am not one who gets wrapped up in the drama of trying to save a person who is on their death bed. I find it much more compassionate to help them to be comfortable and reassure them that their next journey will be a good and exciting one. We all drop our physical robes at some point in time. For some it is a sudden process. For others it is a long, drawn out and painful one. Why would I ever want to make them endure more pain? We treat our dogs better than we do our people when it comes to letting them go and allowing them to die with dignity.

I do hope that when it is my time to go, everyone around me will cheer me on for that. I don't want people sobbing and asking God to spare my life if it is time for me to go home. I had a future life journey once to a culture in which I am going to live and in that lifetime I was a teacher of some very gifted young children. I had a swack of my own, but loved to teach them all. When my life was complete I was a very old man who knew it was time for me to move on. I was helped into a stand up tube, said goodbye to my loved ones and then gave the signal to the operator of the controls. My body was, which the flick of a switch, evaporated. No fuss, no muss. I was simply liberated from my physical body and my soul was allowed to instantly move on into the Light of Spirit. It was beautiful.

As I had a peek at that lifetime, I was reminded of how, as a child in this lifetime, I would peek around corners. But this was different. I was peeking into the future. I look forward to that lifetime. It is not that this one is exceptionally bad or anything. In fact I quite love my life this time around. I have simply always been one who looks to the future and looks forward to the adventure. Oh, and I am also not so painfully shy anymore. Still shy, but not so bad.

Blessed Be
Trent
http://www.youtube.com/trentdeerhorn
www.deerhornshamanic.com