In my book Awakenings: Asian Wisdom for Every Day, I have a quote from Lao-tzu which says, "The way of wisdom: working without fighting." The picture beside it is of the sacred mountains of Huangshan, China. From the rock face there grows an absolutely beautiful tree. There is no effort in the tree's growth. It is simply there, growing out of the rock. It is not threatened by the steep slope or the surface of the rock, it simply grows. It does not fight for life, it simply does its work of growing.
Relationships can actually be that way too. It doesn't matter if we are an earth elemental, air elemental, water elemental or fire elemental. If we balance our own element (grow) and trust the element of the other (no fighting) then we are able to accomplish the way of wisdom. This is something that we sometimes struggle with, but the struggle is actually not with the other, but within ourselves.