Have you ever met a pretender? This is someone who likes to be seen as being one way when in actuality they are something different altogether. I know I have met a few in my life. These are usually the ones who will also try to diminish those of us who are authentically on our path and doing our work in self discovery and healing. Sometimes it is not easy to spot a pretender until you are so far in that backing away is, in and of itself, a major challenge.
But the pretenders are here for a reason (I think). I have found myself to gain great strength each time I have had an encounter with one of these folks. Yes, the lesson is difficult and often painful, but as I move on from it I find that I become stronger within and have the ability to spot other pretenders a lot faster next time. Then these ones wonder why the heck I keep my distance. Well, once one becomes more "real" I have great joy in spending time with them. But until then, I don't want to waste my time or energy trying to be their friend. And, with Otter medicine within me, I find that if you fool me once, shame on you, but if you fool me twice, shame on me. So as harmonious as I am, I also have the ability to discern who is healthy and who is not. Pretenders are not healthy. That does not mean that they can't get healthy. It just means that right now they are not.
Living together and existing together is an art form. Sometimes we can over work a painting and wreck it before it had a chance. Sometimes a paint won't mix properly with the consistency of a different color. Then the texture of the paint and the color of the paint all seem kind of wonky. The same goes for human relationships. Know when the mix is a good one and don't even apply the poor mix to your canvas!